It's Sunday evening, another weekend day that I did nothing meaningful. Life for physically weak ppl is a live demonstration of how tough it can be once you stop going to the gym even for one week. It is cold and misty outside. For two days. As expected, I was not in my perfect mood to inspire a positive conversation in my love life.
My husband, 40 years old eastern European, is eating Chinese deliveries together with me. The scene looks kinda sad, as we started blaming it on the weather being too cold for us to go out and friends not coming by due to the rainy weather. And the saddest part, Sunday is ending, faster than it should of.
"You know, social media for my generation is not a thing. I wonder how many insecurities of modern lives are created from them." My husband said.
Sometimes I don't get him, there are obvious elephants in the room that need some changing of vibes and he would pick up sth completely random from his head and talk endless monologues.
"My love, not really in a mood to talk about social media, especially on the points that have been emphasized for all the podcasts we have watched, and the Twitter spaces we have attended, on a Sunday evening. I'd rather eat those dumplings now and preserve some energy for Monday." I know it's bad the moment I said it, as I know he hates the most when I refuse to pick up a topic he initiated, and even worse when I call out something being bad in our "amazing life".
Then silent. Only the sound of eating. For like, 2 mins. Then he stood up, saying he might want to go to find Aaron (a family friend) to spend the evening instead of in this depressing home. The moment he said it, he knew he blew it as well.
"Well, I think it's a very bad call you just did." I said. With some hidden temper.
"It is a very bad call. I already regretted the moment I stood up. I just couldn't control it. "
"It's ok. I'm proud of you that you admit that's bad. Why don't you finish your dinner first then."
"And talk about what? I cannot talk about anything to interest you."
"Let's experiment and be collaborative. Why don't we try to say the thing we know each other really wants to hear? To make us all feel better." I proposed.
"Sure. Challenge accepted." He looks ambicious.
"I'm so overwhelmed by responsibilities at work and at life, that I know I did not pay you enough attention that you deserve, as you're an amazing husband, and you deserve so much more, most importantly, to be happy. I know I can make you happier, but I did not have the energy for it. Which is a pity, but I'm working on it. And I'm very grateful that you're handling me as I know how challenging it can be."
He seems very happy. Extremely happy. Oh, how simple man is!
"Your turn now!"
"Hmm, I think you can definitely do better, and I am indeed a very good husband. I think you know very well nobody can really help you, so you will need to step up by yourself, you know, being a better wife, and better at your work."
"I think your answer really sucks ..."
"Yea. That really sucks indeed... You did better. Much better."
"I guess you get what you need and I get to learn about acceptance, which is what I need eventually."
Laughs.
