I don’t remember my childhood, I don’t remember my past. All the memories feel like a dream I never lived.
I don’t remember me. I don’t remember us. It’s funny b’cose how can there be someone like us?
I keep all my memories locked away in a box, Safe, secure from life's chaos. People ask me why do I keep? A chocolate wrapper, what does it mean? Dried petals, they cannot even breathe.
But to me, they whisper stories
Of moments I no longer see. How can I manage to keep all these things?
I’ve asked myself many times: Are these my life? Do I miss them, or is it just my habit To turn everything into a list? How can I forget yet hold on to so many memories? How can someone be so sweet?
Today, I talked to a guy I once had a crush on. Why? I don’t know. But my cousin remembered him, I had mentioned him once, And she still knows the name we gave him. Today, she messaged him from my Instagram. I was so embarrassed, but we talked. He remembers me. Is it even possible That someone remembers me? But he does. He remembers what I forgot. He remembers the person I was— The one I lost long ago. She was fun. Or am I the same one?
She got lost, searching for the meaning of life. She drowned herself deep inside. Her heart still beats sometimes, But her mind tightens the chains, More and more, every time.
Can she ever find the keys to her heart? Or has she become a lock without a keeper this time? He made me realize how much I’ve forgotten, The friends I had, the moments I lived. she was pretty. She was fun. The cool girl in my universe. I thought I was just a friend to her, But maybe I was more. She sat beside me Because I was the one holding her.
And today, after so long,
I reached out.
And it felt like yesterday again.
A Letter to the Memories That Fade Away
I know I lost you. I know I once asked you to hold me, And yet, I was the one Who freed myself from you.
Sometimes you make me smile. Sometimes you make me feel whole. Yet, I still hope to never see you again. I hope to never miss you again.
Life goes on, and so did I. I was simple. I shined. But now, I am just fine.
I objectified myself back then, Changed myself for someone else. But now, I just want to remain who I am.
Still, you hold a place in my space. The box where I keep you— It was once my life. Now, I am just a keeper, Locking you away.
From myself? From the world? From the pain that comes with remembering?
Maybe one day,
I will let you breathe,
In a world where memories don’t have to hide.
