Before reading, just know this ,
"I love my city ,just as I love my religion.”
But then have you been to the city of Aba, in Abia state,in the eastern part of Nigeria.
Yea, the city of Aba where the historical Aba women riot took place.
Where the road is always busy, bustling with busy business men and women, who do not have time to order bolts and Uber.
Here religion is everywhere,Along the street, at the busiest market place , and at the loneliest scary streets.And then at Motor parks,
Just as every other passenger, I was just trying to take a bus to Owerri to see my sister that just gave birth .
After buying my ticket and sitting around the window side of the old bus that looked like something that couldn't survive a 20km journey.
I settled down , with a can of coke and the okpa I bought front a persistent hawker, that kept chanting,
"original okpa Enugu here, original okpa Enugu here, taste and see” Okpa Enugu that went to Harvard”
I got one knowing fully well that the okpa wasn't really from Enugu, and that these park hawkers can sweet mouth you into buy anything.
And then,
Boom,Out of nowhere,
A man in a dusty suit that have really survived the taste of time, with wild eye, and a tattered bible bigger than his personality, was there right at the juggling door of the bus that was threatening to fall out.
"My brothers and sisters Good afternoon”“ I welcome you to the day the lord have made” He shouted as if we were deaf,
The air thickens as he starts to cast and bind spirits.
The imaginary evil spirits that might want to stop our journey or cause accidents.
But then you always know them,The prayer is always a short speedy prayer,you know the one that's always quick like a microwave answered prayer.
"You re blessed, I can see the lord stretching his hand upon you, breakthrough is here, I declare favour”
And oh yes, I have to shift as far as to the edge of the bus,because the pastor now lost in his own spirit filled enthusiasm was generously spraying his saliva .
The lady closer to the door, poor soul, was left with saliva on whichever part of her body it can access.
But who is she to tell the man that probably sees God face to face , to be careful with his saliva.
"Amen,” Everyone chorused,
"Sister my God will bless you”
He pointed to my direction, he might have noticed my uninterested reactions,
And I imagined him tagging me one of the possessed ladies who don't like prayers.
“ Amen sir!,I said, because deep down I just want peace, and he is pointing again to the lady beside me.
And ofcourse, the tokens to claim your blessings,
" Give something for the ministry of God,your offering will help us to pray for more souls, brothers and sisters”
“do not withhold what the lord is putting in your heart to give him.”
Some of the passengers gave him some, 100naire and 50 naira change and he was gone chanting his blessings.
Mhhm, I started munching my okpa Enugu and already not cold coke.
Muttering with in myself how the park pastor caused it, but then I ll always prefer drinking a hot coke to eating with splashes of his saliva.
“ The Lord be with you brothers and sisters”That was all it took to change my mood again,
This one is different though, he is not holding a bible, he is clutching a bottle of the anointed Goya olive oil, and smelling faintly of cheap alcohol.
" I am the blessed man of God , The lord have sent to you”
Aha, he is blessed indeed , but definitely not by the holy spirit,The spirit came from something else .
"Your blessing is coming, Do not allow unholy things to steal your blessings!”I look down at my half eaten okpa, The okpa now seem very unholy for me to eat,
I tossed it aside, and Looked at the lady next to me..And she smiled at me, the smile that says“Only in Aba”…
But then, that's not all,Ofcourse am in Aba, and suddenly the choir of beggers,
But then it was the woman begger with closed eyes who looked well fed to be a begger with two girls of about 5 to 6 years, that caught my attention.
Chanting an emotional Igbo song, she would have had a better position singing at saint Peter's cathedral with her trembling soprano voice,.
Or was she among those pretending.
But then I immediately told God to forgive me, for making jokes out of someone's condition .
And I tried as much as I can not to think of people who pretend to be blind and keep extorting others in the name of begging .
Instinctively, I opened my purse, brought out a 200naira note and gave to the younger daughter, maybe an appeasement for my I'll thoughts towards them.
The younger daughter gave the money to the mother, who started chanting her prayers,
" My God will bless you, you will find favour in the sight of God, you will not have accident on the way,”
But then the elder daughter gave me a look that says, “ After all this begging just 200naira , you could have done better”
But then, this is the city of Aba……
And then what's that smallish man with bottles of reddish concoctions inside,
I just keep praying inwardly that it doesn't really smell too bad, as the man approach our bus .
That's definitely a concoction,I said within me as I peered to his widely open polythene,
It was full of strange stuffs,herbs and liquids, that looks like something out of a shrine, than something with divine healing power.
He walked up to the door, his eyes wide with urgency,
" What sickness have been tormenting you,headache, malaria, typhoid , sickle cell, Aids , cough , staphylococcus!!”
I can clearing see the saliva flying out from his tobacco stenched teeth.
" I have the cure here, God gave me the Ingredients in my dream!” He said proudly raising one of the jars up.
I leaned back on my seat, and closed my eye,
God might have given him the recipe to heal all sickness, but am not sure It's going to heal me of my suspicion that that's a concoction.
Two decades of living in this city, I have definitely learnt my lessons, hold my bag very tight,
Don't make eye contact with those park pastors less they tell you about the terrifying visions the saw from looking at your eyeballs,
And I always sit close to the window,but I don't always slide it too down.Then on days when I am in a good mood , I can just throw 200 to 100 naira their way.
"God bless you my sister, you ll have safe journey, you will marry a good husband.”I always let out tiny smiles though,while saying the expected,
”Amen”
As if it was the 100 naira that will determine the success of my journey or getting a good husband.
Today was a good day, I didn't get drenched in saliva, or sweet mouthed into buying some concoction, but next time I might have little luck.
But for now, it's just another day of surviving the holy madness of Aba street Religion, where everyone have an anointing, blessings, prayers or pockets to empty.