"In your silence, I find the words I dare not speak aloud, and in your company, I discover the strength to embrace my own voice."

Solitude comes from the Latin: ¨solitas¨, which refers to the lack or absence of companionship. However, this lack of companionship can be due to a personal decision or external factors that deteriorate relationships. Therefore, research defines this feeling as a “subjective state that occurs at different levels or nuances, perceived in various ways depending on the person.” (Semantic. Art. Solitude)

Solitude is different from being alone. Being alone is a voluntary and personal decision, a space where a person gains personal strength, becomes more present in their reality, and fosters clarity in their life purpose.

On the other hand, loneliness is imposed by various external factors and is characterized by being involuntary. It causes emotional pain, makes us more vulnerable, and leads to misunderstanding and confusion, giving way to doubt and fear.

When sadness lingers, the affected person may feel an emptiness in their life, which could turn into depression if not addressed. When people talk about loneliness, they often use words like “feeling alone”, “being alone”, “isolating”, “horrible”, among other descriptors, according to some studies.

Reviewing more synonyms, I find six similar concepts that describe loneliness:

  • Abandonment: the action and effect of abandoning or being abandoned.
  • Isolation: separation of a person or population, leaving them alone or uncommunicated, helplessness, isolating.
  • Withdrawal: the action and effect of moving away.
  • Melancholy: vague, deep, and permanent sadness.
  • Sorrow: punishment for a fault, absence of care, great affliction.
  • Grief: feeling or inner pain.

Understanding the Origin of Solitude

Life Changes and Transitions

Life transitions, such as adolescence, starting university, entering the workforce, motherhood, or retirement, can also be catalysts for loneliness. These periods of change can significantly alter a person's social connections and sense of belonging to a group.

Traumatic Experiences and Loss

Traumatic experiences and loss, whether the death of a loved one, a breakup, or the end of an important friendship, can create an emotional void. Grieving and processing these experiences often involve a period of emotional isolation, during which a person may feel profoundly alone.

Communication and Social Relationship Difficulties

For some people, difficulties in communication and forming relationships can be a source of loneliness. This can include individuals with certain conditions such as autism spectrum disorder or social anxiety, who may find it difficult to engage in common social interactions, leading them to feel isolated.

Modern Society and Digital Connectivity

In the current era, where digital connectivity is ubiquitous, paradoxically, loneliness seems to be on the rise. Social networks, while offering new ways to connect, often promote comparisons and a sense of isolation. The gap between online connections and real-life relationships can create a unique form of loneliness, where digital connection does not fulfill the human need for face-to-face interaction.

Self-Perception and Self-Esteem

Self-perception and self-esteem also play a significant role in the experience of loneliness. People with low self-esteem or a negative self-image may feel unworthy of love and companionship, leading them to isolate themselves and feel more lonely.

Psychological Impact of Loneliness

Loneliness is not just an emotional state; it has profound and often underestimated effects on people's mental and physical health. Scientific research has revealed significant connections between prolonged loneliness and a variety of health problems. We will focus only on the psychological effects, which we will see in more depth below.

Depression and Anxiety

One of the most direct consequences of prolonged loneliness is its impact on mental health, particularly in the onset of depression and anxiety. The feeling of isolation can lead to feelings of hopelessness and sadness, central characteristics of depression. Likewise, loneliness can increase levels of anxiety, especially concern about social judgment and the fear of being rejected or abandoned. We will discuss these topics in more depth later.

Stress and Emotional Resilience

Loneliness can also increase stress levels. Lonely people often experience a constant state of alertness, as if they were in a threatening situation, which can diminish their emotional resilience. This chronic stress response can negatively affect mental and physical health.

Cognitive Effects

In addition, loneliness can have cognitive effects, such as decreased concentration and memory. It can affect clarity of thought and decision-making, and in extreme cases, could be related to a higher risk of developing neurodegenerative diseases such as Alzheimer's disease.

However, it is possible to cope with loneliness

Dealing with loneliness can be difficult, especially when a person feels that their life has no meaning, or that they are facing a great existential void.

Dealing with loneliness is not an easy task, at least not for those who prefer to be surrounded by people most of the time. For when they face loneliness, sadness ensues.

Here are some suggestions to learn how to manage loneliness so that it does not become an unbearable sensation:

  • Cry if you want to: You don't have to feel inhibited to cry. Sadness is an emotion that can be managed more easily when feelings are acknowledged and not denied.
  • Take your time: Don't pressure yourself. Perhaps, this moment is just what you need to reflect on many aspects of your life. Do not fear being alone with yourself.
  • Share with other people: Instead of isolating yourself further. Seek to communicate with your loved ones and express how you feel.
  • Allow others to listen to you: Maybe a friend, a family member, or a loved one. It is not always advisable to keep what you feel to yourself.
  • Keep a journal: If you don't want to talk to other people.
  • Get involved in projects: That bring you back to the side of life where passion and excitement for starting new learning experiences lie. Sometimes, limitations stem from limiting beliefs that have no basis in reality.
  • Find pleasure in the simple things in life: Simplicity tends to hide great treasures.
  • Focus on the present: Forget the past and do not overthink the future. The things that have already happened are behind us. It's time to disconnect from everything that caused you pain in the past or made you isolate yourself from others.
  • Take care of your personal appearance: Don't forget your hygiene. Looking good helps us feel better. You can forget almost everything, except taking care of yourself. You are the most important person in your life.
  • Set small goals: To work on them and keep your attention focused on your personal achievements. This is very encouraging.
  • Reach out to a professional: If you feel you can't handle it yourself, then don't feel ashamed to seek support from a professional.

Finally, remember that loneliness is not always bad; from time to time, we need moments alone to do introspective exercises and rediscover ourselves. In solitude, we can also grow and reinforce our confidence that God is with us every day of our lives.

Final Reflections

Loneliness, in its complex nature, is much more than a simple feeling of isolation. This reading has explored its multiple facets, from its origins to its effects on our mental health.

Understanding loneliness in its entirety is the essential first step to addressing it. This knowledge equips us not only to face our own challenges related to loneliness but also to help others in their quest for connection and emotional well-being.