This is my third submission and I have been enjoying the hell out of it! This week, I have been thinking about people in a broader sense. I know these thoughts are quite existential from time to time, but my overall aim is to understand people and different perspectives as well as understanding myself. I feel like every person is a different planet, that’s why it takes such a long time to get to know ourselves first - let alone other people knowing us. Personally, I find it fascinating to get to know other people so that I can enrich my planet. However, I believe knowing yourself first is the key to understanding others.
As a kid, everything is scheduled almost hour by hour; studies, hobbies, eating, sleep & wake up times… Growing up is also very social overall - even for a single child like me. Education is designed in a way that kids spend a lot of time together and get to socialise. I was very fortunate enough to find good connections which for me has been the best experience from early school time.
Around teenage times, it was still very much interactive but then some new responsibilities and life choices have been added on top. When I look at it, I am most impressed with my teenage self! Juggling all the emotions and hormones while feeling like a race horse at school to achieve academic success. I don’t know what kind of energy source teenagers have, but I don’t think I could go back with my 30-year-old self and do it again.
I consider early adulthood as my university times. I know there is some controversy over going to university if needed or not, especially in countries where students pay a lot of money. However, It was not the case in my home country, so I have always seen university as a simulation of real life. I was living in a campus which is a safe space but also felt super free as an 18-year-old. Leaving home to a new city and having to start from scratch socially have been challenging but it is something that prepared me for “life” when I was ready to spread my wings.
I feel like the 20s have been messy while running to discover life and who we are. Like the first round of trials after the safe simulation in university and there is no such thing as succeeding! There has always been something to do or achieve: find a good job & relocate if you are willing, find a partner and start a family if you want to, get promotions, and do anything to be successful in life (?!). At least, all these steps were presented to me - society waiting eagerly for me to tick all the boxes. When I wasn’t willing to complete one of the steps on time - I started to question my idea of adulthood. In times like this, one looks inside to find their authentic self as well as turns to their close circle to understand their point of view. After going through all these struggles, I knew how important people I have in my life!
The more we grow up, the harder it seems to find connections and communities - I have faced this reality around when I first started to work after graduation but the space has gotten wider in time. Friends move on and start a family, people move to different cities or even countries (including myself). But then the question comes - how do we meet people outside of school and work? I am not talking about romantically, thank god we have apps for that!
I always considered myself an extrovert, apparently which means I recharge when I am around people. However, recently with the remote working in the picture, meeting new people through work has slowed down. Ever since I started working from home, I feel like my planet is getting lonely. Don't get me wrong, working remotely has its great advantages and I genuinely don’t think I could go back to 5 days in the office after being so used to this comfort. But then it leaves me now with no school and no regular work socialising - and what do we do if our old & close friends are living far away?
This is the mystery I have been trying to solve here in London as an expat. This doesn't mean I have no friends or colleagues or acquaintances, for which I am eternally grateful. However it still feels a bit lonely as an adult. Now that I am rambling here, maybe I am looking at this from a different angle so far. Maybe, it is life that has slowed down as an adult - because we are not asked to run & chase things like when we were growing up. Maybe, this is the time for feeling content and finding a lifestyle that we are comfortable with and then just LIVE it.
Feeling content is always something I struggled with - it feels easier to just run to another task or find some purpose in life to achieve. I believe it is very important to find & look forward to something, but at the same time ‘grabbing the present’ is what I have been missing! I talked about the past, now it is time for me to look forward to the 30s! Building a life that I am proud of and stay for a while. In addition, surrounding myself with existing loved ones as well as exploring other souls & perspectives. I know being young is romanticised a lot, but I think the best parts are yet to come!
Overall, there is so much to discover in the world! I was recently asked “what is my writing theme & what are my plans with it?” I realised, I use writing to make sense of the world, myself and others. I appreciate any of you reading me ramble here and join in my journey in life. I don’t know the answers yet, but it is crucial to ask questions…
Hope to see you next week!