My ringtone woke me up. I checked the time on the digital clock on my table and groaned. 8am. Only one person would be calling me by this time. Nenye's picture popped up on my phone screen.
"Hello ... "
"I'm on my way to your place. Get dressed." She hung up.
I entered her car looking disheveled, unable to meet her eyes. I don’t mean the sexy, 'I just got out of bed' look actors pulled off in movies. I looked like a mess, with bloodshot eyes, blotchy skin and untidy hair.
I had spent the entire night tossing and turning, thinking ungodly thoughts about Chudi, fighting the urge to travel the short distance to his apartment door and beg him to kiss me, touch me, DO ANYTHING HE WANTED TO ME!
When I finally slept, it seemed all my thoughts had seeped into my dreams. Chudi and I were on my couch, making out when Nenye and my father walked in on us. She started screaming while dad just gave his usual disappointed stare. Even Suleiman showed up at some point and started screaming at me in Hausa.
"DOYELE BREATHE!" Nenye barked out.
I jumped. She was looking at me, worried.
"Before I carry you into my problems, are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Had a crazy dream last night and didn't get much sleep. What do you need my help with anyway?"
"Have coffee first." She pointed to the travel mug in the cup holder between us. "There's bread in that nylon."
I took the coffee gratefully. I could feel my system jumpstart.
"Thanks."
"No problem. I need your brains and tiny muscles today. So you have to be sharp."
"Yes ma'am."
Nenye had dumped her biochemistry degree straight after school and gone into event planning. Her surprise packages business in school had been a huge hit among students and she upgraded into events and parties when we graduated. Last year, she planned an A-list actress’ wedding which had trended on Instagram for weeks. Now everyone in Lagos wanted Nenye to plan their events.
"What's it this time?" I asked.
"A surprise proposal. Then hopefully she says yes so I can plan the wedding. God! Can this traffic reduce?"
"Relax! That's nice. Everybody is getting married these days."
"Guy! Everybody don marry. Except for me." She sounded solemn all of a sudden.
"Finally! Thank you, Jesus." She said as cars started moving. "God knows when I'm getting there. The proposal is today guy. Today."
"Once again, Relax! Have you planned an event that someone didn't like?"
"Yes. The groom was sleeping with the chief bride's maid. The bride's father caught them. Na so wedding end."
"Woah."
"Guy. I don see shege. All in the name of planning wedding. Tufia." (shege is a term for nonsense or rubbish. Tufia or Tufiakwa is a curse word in Igbo Language)
She glanced at me from the corner of her eye. "You sef why are you acting shocked? You that only dates married men."
"Less commitment issues. More security since they also have something to lose. Financially stable partners. Guilt-ridden sex hits hard, no pun intended. No relationship wahala." I recited. (wahala means problem)
"That's what you always say. But when they end the relationship, you'll start calling me in tears. No commitment, my foot."
I concentrated on my coffee. She laughed.
"You're the one who introduced me to Suleiman." I mumbled.
"You were meant to paint him and his wife for their anniversary. Not start having an affair with him."
"I’ve heard you. It’s okay."
"No, it's not." She sighed.
"Eyes on the road, please."
"Doye ever since Judah ... "
"Can we not talk about Judah?"
"We have to talk about Judah." She hissed. "That bastard changed you. He made you feel like you have to be ashamed of yourself. I saw how he treated you. You don't have to hide. Forget what your dad is saying, forget whatever Judah put in your head. You're gay. Be fucking proud of it. Own it."
"Should I walk down the streets of Lagos holding hands with my partner? Make out in public? Go out on a date with a guy? Let's see what happens then. I can't even be myself, even if I fucking tried. As long as I'm in this godforsaken country. Even if I don't land in Panti, there's every possibility these guys on the street will grab me and beat me to death." (Panti is the site of a poular prison in Nigeria. Homosexuality is illegal in Nigeria, attracting a jail term of 14 years)
I let out a deep breath. "Remember the last time I went on a blind date? What happened?" My voice was hard.
The first and last blind date I went on nearly cost me my life. I was in my second year of university then. I met Bolu on Tinder. After months of sexting and chatting we agreed to meet up at a restaurant. I had foolishly agreed to follow him to his place after lunch. I met five guys who nearly beat me to death after clearing my bank accounts and taking my phone. The only reason I survived was because I was sharing my location with Nenye. When she saw my phone was heading to another state, she panicked and called my family. I don’t know how my father arranged it but I was home that night. Every chance he gets he reminds me how he saved my life.
"Ok, I'm sorry." She sighed. "That was insensitive." She sounded distracted. "I just ... I just want to see you happy, Doye. With a nice guy."
Her eyes were firmly on the road. "At least the whole stuff between you and Suleiman is over. And I didn't even need to come and rub your back while you cried."
"You're growing up, oh. Big boy." She teased.
"You didn't. But your boyfriend came over to play COD and noticed I was upset. He tried to cheer me up and I kissed him. Now he's questioning his sexuality, and he's not sure if he wants to marry you. I've ruined your life."
I couldn't say any of this. So I busied myself with finishing up my coffee and bread.
"Ahh, we're here. Finally! Let’s see what these people have done."
"Nice restaurant." I said.
"Yeah. Nice spot for a proposal." She sounded dreamy.
"Let's get to work."
Setting up for the proposal took almost the whole day. Nenye usually had five staff with her when setting up for an event but three of them were unavoidably absent. Luckily the restaurant provided an extra hand to help out. Thankfully, we finished up and had thirty minutes to spare before the couple and their guests were meant to arrive. We decided to get lunch. A late one. It was past five already.
"Well, that was fun." Nenye looked tired.
"You're completely exhausted."
"I am. But I'm happy. That's the amazing thing about planning proposals. Will she say yes or no? Making the whole place look lovely. You can feel the guy's nervousness. The work that went into creating something beautiful. The surprise and excitement on the lady's face. That's if she's genuinely surprised. " She scoffed.
"It is beautiful. And we did a great job."
"Yes, we did."
"We're amazing ... "
"... Creative geniuses, if you may." She completed.
"The behind-the-scenes guys who make all the good stuff happen." I smiled.
Nenye laughed. Her laugh was one of the best things about her. She could never laugh quietly. It always came, pure, unfiltered, bursting out of her mouth. Loud. A few tables turned.
"Oh God. You've made me embarrass myself in front of all these people." She turned to her food.
"They're admiring your beauty."
"Well, this beauty is taken, engaged and about to be married in three months." She lifted her right hand proudly as she said it.
"Period." I scooped more rice into my mouth.
"Yup. Thanks for showing up today. I appreciate it."
"I've got two free meals so far. Thanks for getting me out of the house. Also, don't bother making that money transfer you'll do once I get to my place."
She snorted. "I'm just trying to help out."
"And I appreciate it. But I'm good. Really. If things get too bad, I can always guilt trip my mother."
She snorted. "No be you again."
"Madam eat. You've been picking at your food."
She sighed.
"What's wrong?" My heart started beating fast.
Hesitatingly, I asked. "This is about Chudi, isn't it?"She nodded.
I sighed. "I told you yesterday he isn't ..."
"I know. I know. But Doye, I'm telling you there's something wrong."
"Why are you so sure? Minus your itch." I ignored the dirty look she threw my way.
I sighed, "Do you have any valid reason to believe he's seeing someone else?"
"Kind of."
I nearly choked on my food. "What do you mean?"
"I went to my parents' place. Uche was around." We both involuntarily shuddered at the name.
Uche was Nenye's younger sister and only sibling. One would have thought this would bring them closer but it did the opposite. Uche dedicated her life to proving she was better at everything Nenye did. Including starting her own event planning business which crashed after three months and sleeping with three of Nenye's boyfriends. She was also homophobic as fuck and hated my guts. A feeling which was mutual.
"Eww. Brother eww. Feels like there's a sour taste in my mouth."
Nenye laughed. "Anyway, she said she ran into Chudi at Cirque, that new club at Mbadiwe. Said he was with some guys and this babe. According to her, when she walked up to him, he seemed nervous. Abi frightened."
"Your sister is a witch. Everyone either hates her or is terrified of her. Or both."
"One of her friends happened to be taking selfies and Chudi and his mysterious friends were in the picture. That's what even made her go and greet them, so she says."
"How lovely." I scoffed.
"Yeah." She scrolled through her phone and then handed it to me. "Do you know them?"
I looked at the photo warily. There was a lady in a skin-tight dress with cut-offs at the waist and torso section. She was making pouty faces at the camera. A few feet behind her I saw Chudi and three guys conversing and laughing. The one besides Chudi had his hand on his shoulder. All unfamiliar faces. All looking good. The too familiar feeling of jealousy washed through me and I downed my drink and tried to force it down.
"I don't know them. Have you asked him?" My tone was clipped.
"He said they're from work." She pursed her lips. "I went to visit him at work on Monday and I didn't see any of them in his office."
"Chinenye why would you do that?"
"Why not?" She hissed. "When I asked him why he never told me about the outing, he said and I quote, there wasn't any need. Since when isn't there any need for my fiancé to tell me if he's going on an outing?"
"So who do you think those guys are?"
"No idea." She fumed. "There was a lady with them too. I saw her at his office, and I didn't like the look she gave me."
"Hmm."
"No be small hmm guy. I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm surprised you don't know those guys. Thought you guys were close."
I fidgeted. "We haven't been so close lately ... "
"See I knew it! There's something wrong with him."
"Maybe there's something wrong. That doesn't mean he's cheating."
She laughed. It wasn't her normal laugh. This one was short, low and bitter. "Chudi and I haven't had sex since last month. I've been dating this guy for three years now. If he's not getting it from me, he's getting it from someone else." Her voice was low.
We both sat quietly. "I think you should talk to him. Ask him what's going on. Maybe it's not what you're thinking."
"I hope I'm overreacting. That this is just a rough patch and we'll get through. Because I haven't been myself for the past few weeks. The fact that I heard it from Uche was jarring enough."
I couldn't keep doing this, the guilt was eating me. I had to tell her.
"Look Nenye ... "
"They're here. Finally! Thank God! What took them so long?" She was already carrying her bags. We spoke at the same time.
"Let's go and watch the proposal jare."
She frowned. "Were you saying something earlier?"
"Was about to say you shouldn't stress it. You've been planning your wedding your entire life. You should be looking good. No stress lines needed ok?"
She smiled. "Thanks, Doye."Her smile was a knife piercing through me. Guilt twisted it in deeper.
"What are friends for?" My voice wavered.
