"The realization of the consequences of adulthood does not really hit deep, until you're a broke or depressed adult with at least two dependants waiting on you to provide them with the basic things needed to continue living. Food, shelter and clothing I mean, at least.I was in my mid thirties, when the mother of my two young son's passed on. It was a painful and really sad experience. Even now remembering the change her death brought, brings tears to my eyes.She was the better half, caring, loving, thoughtful and whatnot. She started showing symptoms even before we got married, but I always believed that everything was going to get better. She completed me, and nothing was going to stop me from marrying her.We got married in a little church, surrounded by our closest family and friends, most of whom knew our plight. And even though one or two from my side were not in support of the union, still nothing could stop me.A little over a year after our marriage, we had our first child a son, he brought laughter into our quiet home. And it was with pride that I raised him to the skies and blessed him on the day we named him. We had more to talk about, laugh about, get tired about, wake up early about, have sleepless nights about and more. He was the light we needed to come of our gloom.After a very stressful day at work I would come home to see her rocking him and singing him lullabies, trying to get him to sleep, and he would hear my voice and look in my direction smiling and reaching out his little arm, wanting to hold his dada.She had to visit the hospital frequently and the visits were costing us a lot. She was always to tired to anything, I had convinced her to quit her job when you was pregnant with our son, I could not complain, all I wanted was for her to get better. The words of encouragement from friends and family and the financial support were encouraging, but nobody could really understand me, I would gladly give my life for her to get better but there was nothing I could do, and my inability to change the situation was driving me crazy.She was getting better and it felt like everything was going to be alright. Until she told me she wanted another child, of course I refused, I couldn't risk it. And then we had a long argument about how the way I was pitying her, was maker her feel less of herself. I wasn't pitying her, I just couldn't afford to lose her.Long story short, she told my mother, who then got our families involved, I still declined though. On that night after the family meeting, and it was just the two of us in our room, out son was with his grandma in the guestroom already weaned. She told me how badly she wanted another child, a daughter specifically. I jokingly told her that if she was going to have another child, it would definitely be a son, seeing as the male child gene was dominant in my family line. She spoke with so much passion and love, that I consented, but our seven months old son had to be a year plus first.Two years after our first child, we had a second. It was a son, she was so happy and I tried to be more excited for her sake. And it was then that it happened, two weeks after delivery she became very ill, we went to the hospital and her doctor had to admit her. The uncanny feeling of impending doom came back from wherever it went, and I knew I should not have agreed to having another child through pregnancy.The unsettling realization that she had very few years at most left to live broke me, I couldn't come to terms with the fact that she was going to die soon, she had been doing well all these years where did I go wrong? Where?I had always dreaded the day a doctor would tell me to prepare for the worst, nothing could prepare me for this, I knew this was bound to happen eventually, but she was only thirty. It's just so unfair, could death not wait until she was sixty? Or fifty even. The battle for her life raged on and on, and after two years she gave up the ghost. The first few days were so bleak, I can barely remember how they went. I was not allowed to be present while they buried her, but after I went there and I remember muttering in pain, 'I lost my wife to cancer, why am I still alive?'A lot of things went through my head during that period, some times I would be composed, other times I would be drowning in self pity. Our first son was old enough to understand that he would not see his mother again, and I had to snap out of my self pity for him.Realizing that the people around me were in as much pain as I was helped me out of my misery, and my sons gave me a reason to live on. I was broke, I had given everything I had to all the different hospitals we'd taken my wife to for treatment, the little help my family could render was just enough to feed my boys. It was a very challenging time for us, and at a point I was contemplating suicide. I had to move back to my parents house so my mum could help take care of the boys.I took up odd jobs, and applied for jobs literally everywhere, this went on for a little over two years until I'd saved enough to open my own automobile shop. Still faced a lot of challenges, but I was way past giving up. From there things got better, grew into an automobile company and here we are today"Talk show host: "Thank you very much sir, I really appreciate you taking your time to tell us a lot about yourself, through thick and thin, life and death, and yet here you are. I have to admit that, I am actually very happy that you didn't give up, because you are a blessing and a source of inspiration to a lot of people out there, once again, thank you very much sir.Viewers at home and abroad, there you have it from the horse's mouth himself. I remain your one and only national tv talk show host, on our nothing to something edition, and I've had the honor to interview the CEO of Madison motors, our multimillion dollar automobile company, do well to patronize them.See you all next time on another edition of nothing to something, bye.
#FWW
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