Sunday morning Mummy drove us to church.

Following the divorce, mummy didn't just revert to her father's name, she also went back to the church she grew up in. She even went as far as making sure I was re-baptized and confirmed in the Anglican Church.

My father made his annoyance known by delaying child support payments for three months. Attending a Catholic secondary school was their compromise.

Mummy hummed along the radio as she drove. She had reduced her work trips a lot since Theodora’s kidnapping. Having her in the house more often felt strange, also annoying as I couldn't smoke in case she caught me. As a result, I was more cranky and annoyed than usual.

We were early and got a good space at the parking lot. Mummy was dressed in one of her designs, a purple lace dress with a sweetheart neckline and exaggerated sleeves. The corset cinched her waist perfectly. I was very reluctantly wearing a similar design without the corset. I had insisted on sneakers instead of the heels she got me which she had reluctantly agreed to.

"See how sweet we look. Bia ka-anyi ke selfie." (Come, let us take selfies)

Since we came back from Enugu, mummy has been trying to speak Igbo to me. I guessed grandma's comments about my poor grasp of the language got to her as well. I walked to her and she angled the phone and took a picture.

She glared at me. "Smile na." I gave a tight-lipped smile, making sure not to show my teeth and flashed a peace sign.

Mummy took the picture. "Much better. Oya come and snap me."

I took a couple pictures of her striking different poses.

When my friends met her, I was always met with different degrees of envy to shock.

"That's your mum? She looks so young!"

"Your mum is so pretty. What happened to you?"

"You're so lucky! I wish she was MY mum."

And the most annoying, "Your mum is finer than you. By far. Like I don't know where they brought you from."

Anglican Church of the Messiah, Sangotedo makes up for its small size in beauty. The church is two stories, and a smaller two-storeyed building behind it for children's church. Most of their congregation have attended since childhood like Theodora's family.

Mummy headed inside church for the adult service and I went to the building behind and walked up the stairs to teenage class.

Aunty Felicia, one of the Sunday school teachers was already present. She walked up to me and smiled.

"How are you my dear?"

"Good morning ma."

"Is this one of your mother's designs. You're looking good."

The people who had not turned when I entered did now. I felt my face grow hot at the attention.

"Is there any news on our Theo?"

It was like I had been doused with cold water. "Not yet. They've asked for a ransom."

She nodded sympathetically, "God will bring her back safely."

Sunday school began shortly. Theodora's empty seat stared back at me. I joined in the clapping and singing, nodding along. Closed my eyes for the prayers, said Amen at the right time. When Aunty Felicity prayed Theodora would be in church next Sunday, the responding Amen was loud and thunderous.

We had just finished bible study when a man walked in. He wore a neat looking Senator and had wire framed glasses.

"We have a special guest with us today." Aunty Felicity led him to the front of the class.

"This is Dr Bala, he is a security expert."

She continued. "We are grateful to him for taking time out of his busy schedule to talk to us. Please pay proper attention."

"Good morning children."

"Good morning Dr Bala." We chorused.

"Thank you all for your warm welcome. Given the recent events the church decided it was best to talk to you people on how to be more security conscious."

"I don't have much time, so we'll get right into it. First of all, your parents love you. They love you very much. The only way you can pay back that love is by doing the right thing at the right time."

"What do I mean? Even as children, I'm sure you can see how this country is going. You can see how our leaders are treating us. It's only God that can help us. I bought fuel on my way here, one litre is 995 naira. You can imagine. It's crazy."

"Now I know that you people are good children. You come from good homes. Your parents bring you to church. This is why you should not allow those from bad homes influence you."

"What do I mean? Nigeria is not safe at all right now. I'm sure you know that. This is not the time to be looking for one outing or going to see one friend. This is the time to stay in your house. I mean, what happened was unfortunate. But if that girl stayed at home she would still be here with us today."

The knot in my stomach tightened.

"I mean let's state the facts. Nobody is coming to kidnap you from your father's house. It's when you expose yourself by always being on Facebook, Twitter, Tiktok, you know them, Instagram. The more you're posting yourself, the more you're exposing yourself to harm. That is how kidnappers will meet you."

"But if you respect yourself, nothing will happen to you. Right now, there are only three major places you should be. At home, church or school. Any other place you should be with your parents."

"Some of you are having boyfriends and girlfriends. That boy that has been chatting you, what if he's a kidnapper? The next thing is I want to see you. You'll lie to your parents to go and meet a man. The next thing everybody is looking for you. Just giving your parents unnecessary panic that could have been avoided."

My chest ached. I felt a searing pain as my chest and stomach tightened. I grasped the arms of the chair firmly in my hands and stood up.

I forgot about my Bible, jotter and pen on my lap. They fell to the floor silencing Mr Bala. All eyes turned to me.I bent down picking them up and dropped them on the chair.

"Excuse me." I rasped and walked out of the class.

There was no air, I needed to breathe. My dress was tight, I needed to open the zipper. I walked out of the class with my head spinning, I didn't know where I was going, I was just moving. The dress, snuggly fitting my hips didn't let me run, I just kept walking as fast as I could.

"Kelly wait." A hand held me. I followed the watch on the wrist to see Jesse's face.

I snatched my hand back and looked around me. I had walked to the construction site behind the church, where the new church building was being constructed.

"Sit down." He had removed his vest and placed it on the floor.

Wordlessly, I let him lead me.

"Just breathe in and out slowly. You're okay." He squatted on the floor besides me, massaging my back.

After a few minutes, my breathing slowed down.

"Omo you can walk fast. See fresh boy like me jogging to keep up with you."

"Sorry."Jesse had joined our church September last year. One look at him and I had forgotten about my crush on Emmanuel, another church member.

As fate would have it, he had walked up to me and I had gawked at him stupidly for a moment, not registering anything he said.

While waiting for her parents to be done with a meeting, I saw him and Theodora talking. Feeling self-conscious about my shameless gawking earlier, I refused to join the conversation, instead storming out to sulk in Daddy Timi's car.

When we got home, I begged her to tell me what he said.

"Oh just the usual. Hi. You're so pretty. I like you. Bla bla bla. You'll think boys would get more creative but oh well."

Seeing my face she stopped.

"Wait! Do you like him?"

"No." I lied.

I didn't blame him for liking Theodora. That didn't stop it from stinging.

"It's not bad if you do. He's kind of cute actually."

"Are you sure you're not the one who likes him?" I teased.

"As if." She scoffed. "I don't like boys. Boys like me. There's a difference duh."

"If you say so." I teased.

Just like that, Jesse joined our friend group at church. I avoided him as best as I could and pretended it didn't hurt seeing them gisting and laughing together.

"Kelly." He was waving his hands in my face.

"What's wrong with you? Don't do that." I scowled.

"Sorry. But you zone out a lot. Does anybody tell you that?"

"Just tell me what you were saying."

"I said you should not let that man get to you. Like he didn't make any sense."

"Maybe not to you. But to everybody else he did. What did he even mean? Nobody will kidnap you in your father's house. He's fucking mad. His brain is not working properly. So all the people that were kidnapped from their homes, was it their fault too? They didn't lock their doors well, abi?"

I don't know who is more shocked about my outburst, me or him.

"Aswear. When he said that. I wanted to start laughing. So we should just be hiding in our house so nobody will hurt us. What of people who the ones hurting them live with them?"

"Honestly it's giving victim blaming. I'm tired of hearing it everywhere. Some people are even saying she's hiding at a man's house."

"Omo even if she is, let her come back safely. That's all that matters right now."

I looked at him sharply. Jesse and Theodora had a falling out ending of last year, and had stopped talking. All Theodora told me was he wasn't a good person and I should avoid him. This was the first conversation we had this year. This was the longest conversation we had ever.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What did you and Theo fight about?"

He smiled wryly and shook his head. "I'm not talking about that. When she comes back ask her yourself."

"Wow. So cryptic."

"I have to uphold my man of mystery persona, you feel me?"

I laughed and quickly covered my mouth with my hands.

"Anyways let's get back to class. Before they think we've been kidnapped."

"Oh my gosh. You did not just say that."

I took the hand he offered and stood up

."Sorry about your vest."

I winced as I watched him try and fail to remove dirt from the vest. He folded it and shrugged.

"It's all good. I was sweating in it anyway."

"Then why did you wear it?" I asked.

"Steeze must be maintained." He struck a pose making me laugh again.

Church was much more tolerable after that. I ignored Aunty Felicity's questioning glance when me and Jesse walked in together. Luckily, mummy wasn't in any committees or groups so after the service we got into the car and went straight home.

The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of assignments. Mummy got an email from school telling her I was behind in assignments so I spent the rest of the day doing assignments and printing my notes, I didn't even have time to practice for the upcoming basketball match against St. Catherines.

Monday started with rain. The road leading to school from my house was flooded and I got to school late. I handed in my assignments and struggled to focus in classes.

Luckily, I had interhouse sports and the match practice to keep me occupied. I spent more time on the court with Alex, wondering why Theodora disliked her so strongly.

Interhouse sports practice was coming along, I had selected the house representatives for the senior and junior race.

One time, I resolved an argument between two junior students, and looked up to see Mrs Nnoli, the assistant head teacher for senior school nodding her head at me. It still wasn't enough to forget Theodora was missing.

Wednesday evening, I was feeling restless. I just had enough left to roll two blunts. Kenzy had blocked my number once Theodora's missing posters started making media rounds.

I grabbed my ball and headed to the basketball court at the games arena. Someone was already there. A male someone. Isaac. Shirtless again. The ball dropped from my hands.

He turned.

"Sorry I'll go." I mumbled.

"No. I'm rounding up. I'll soon be off." He was out of breath.

"Okay." I didn't trust myself to look at him.

I ran a few laps around the field, something I did before playing.

By the third lap, I had picked the ball and started running. I imagined myself in the field, a St Catherine player running besides me. Imagined them trying to get the ball from me, how I would dodge them. Run. Score.I shot the ball and watched it go through the hoop.

The sound of clapping brought me back to my surroundings.

"When Dora said you were good, I thought she was just hyping up her friend."

Theodora hated being called Dora. It reminded her of Dora the Explorer and she quote unquote, hated the dumb bitch. Only her brothers called her that.

"Thanks."

Feeling emboldened by the compliment, I sat besides him on the bench. He had put on a shirt, he probably noticed my discomfort.

"How's everything going?" I asked.

The kidnappers had asked for 50 million naira. I knew because I overheard Mummy telling someone on the phone about it.

He shook his head. "I don't know. I just feel so useless right now."

"Omo if I find the bastards that took my sister, it's on sight. I'll kill them."

He ranted. "My mum had to take another loan from the bank. She's already owing them. They couldn't even give her everything. She and my dad have sold all their shares and it's still not enough. Omo at least the GoFundMe is getting us something. I was actually shocked people are donating."

"Even your dad." I looked up at him in shock. He laughed. "Yeah that was your mum's reaction when we told her."

"Is the money almost complete?"

"We're at 23 mil rn. 23.6 or so. Omo if we reach 25 or 30 before weekend we'll give it to them abeg. We don try."

"You really have. I can't even imagine." I sighed.

"At least if they get 30 million it's okay. They'll release her."

He sighed. "I hope so. The police are also working on something. So they'll be able to trace them after they collect the ransom."

"I hope that won't put her in danger. What if they find out and hurt her?"

"Honestly, I don't know. But they said they won't do anything till she's home safely."

"Okay better."

"Yeah."He sighed again.

"This thing has really messed with my family. Like you hear about things like this everyday. You never think it will happen to you. Me now, I'm supposed to start exams next week. If by then we've not heard anything positive, I'm deferring the semester." Isaac was in his second year studying Engineering at the University of Lagos.

"She'll be back."

"I really pray so. And I really pray I catch the people who did this to her. Because I will fuck them up."

Isaac's words rang in my head the next day on St Catherine's field. It was almost playoff time and the team was gathered in a circle.

Alex was giving her usual pep talk. When she was done, she turned to me.

"Do you want to say something Kelly?"

On a normal day, I would have said no.

Today the words burst out. "Let's fuck them up."I spoke quietly but everyone turned to me in shock.

Alex burst out into a grin. "You heard her guys. Let's fuck them up."

The whistle blew.

And fuck them up we did. The match ended 101-65 in favour of SCGC. Everyone was excited about the win. I took out all my anger and pain on the field and it was worth it. I was so happy I forgot to hide my teeth while smiling. Coach Becky gave me a hug after the match. Seeing Mummy in the stands made the win even sweeter.

We stopped at Coldstone on the way back and got ice cream. When Mummy found out Alex lived at Awoyaya and she was going to take public transport home, she gave her a ride.

Three of us spent the drive home licking ice cream and taking excitedly about the match. Mummy was in a really good mood we drove down to Awoyaya where Alex's dad was waiting at the bus stop for her before turning back to go home.

The long drive couldn't diminish the thrill of the win. Too excited to eat, I freshened up and went to bed. I scrolled through my phone,answering congratulatory messages from my friends.

I was already dozing off when my phone ringing woke me up.

Half sleep, I picked the call.

"Hello?" I asked groggily.

"Hey bestie." Sleep vanished from my eyes as I sat up immediately.

"T ... Theo?" I asked hesistatingly.

I heard her familiar laughter before the call ended. The knot in my stomach returned with a vengeance.

I rushed out of bed to the bathroom and threw up my ice cream down the sink.