Everything, I believe, has its own arrangement. Our task is not to dwell too much on what's past and miss out on the present. When facing a problem in life (emotional, family, work, friends...), how do you handle it?

I paused and reflected on my own issues, questioning how I've dealt with them. I realized that often, I've only made things more complicated without really solving anything. But life goes on, and after such experiences, I've learned to tackle the problems I encounter. You can't always run to someone else for help.

My approach to problem-solving is the "5S" rule.

Actually, these numbers are symbolic for me. In reality, when a problem arises, I take a short time to think it over. The time I spend thinking varies with the severity of the issue.

The first thing I do is pause to calm down.

After creating a mess time and again, I've learned that the more chaotic and fearful you are, the worse things get. So, I choose to calm myself before addressing the problem.

Once emotions subside, rationality takes over, and I start asking foundational questions to untangle the mess:

  • Why did this happen?
  • Is it my fault or someone else's?
  • If I solve this in way A, what impact will it have on me and those around me?
  • What happens if I delay solving this?
  • If I solve the problem with method A, what's the worst that could happen? What's the best?

After asking myself these questions, I naturally find a solution for myself. Of course, it's never 100% correct.

Sometimes, issues are better resolved with emotion, but by the time we calm down, the emotion is gone, and everything's a mess.

Sometimes, even after thoroughly questioning and answering, things don't go as planned, and the problem persists.

The only way to solve it is to return to step one and try different solutions.

After everything settles, or even during the problem-solving process, I find it an interesting experience to enjoy. Despite the stress, sadness, or anger, it's a valuable lesson. Also, I assure you, even with specific general solutions or heaps of advice, thinking, "Wow, this solution of mine is epic," we'll still make mistakes.

Do you know why? Because we can only find solutions within ourselves, but the outcomes depend on others filling in the blanks. Therefore, mistakes are inevitable. Life isn't about always being right. Why dwell on the past and blame ourselves when we can seek better solutions for the present?

For every problem, I believe there's a solution, and everyone has their way of dealing with what bothers them. Ultimately, our inability to solve problems stems from temporary emotions.

Feelings of anxiety, frustration, or anger make our words and actions impulsive. Sometimes, this doesn't harm us (and can even be a good solution), but other times, it leads to severe consequences, making problems worse. Hence, for me, calmness is the most crucial therapy when things turn negative. Rationality needs time to work, and emotions need time to fade. If we can use time for both to work and fade, we'll see many problems more clearly and find reasonable solutions.

Moreover, don't fear mistakes; humans are never always right. Sometimes, small errors lead to better outcomes, like missing one person leads to finding someone better. Everything, I believe, has its arrangement. Our task is not to dwell too much on what's past and miss out on the present. Problems need us to solve them, and right or wrong, these are our choices.

I hope this helps you find a few ways to solve problems. This is my general approach when faced with issues; what about you?