I only need to see her. I can’t explain it, I am not sure what kind of poison she is laced in. It is as though when I take two steps forward, I always look two steps behind me, where I have left her.
Mel. Her name is Mel. I have never seen an angel with such grace. She is a brunette with hair as dark as a chocolate river and smells just as sweet. Her eyes are like coffee macarons and her smile is like gold dust.
I met Mel in the office; she joined a few months ago as the new receptionist. I like my job now that she’s here; it had become a mundane routine before her. I would get to the office and sit with the other fish in the pond of booths, where people sat in front of their computers. I would do my daily tasks and sometimes talk to Aspen about the local news or last night's football game. If there were any office dramas, we would stand by the window in the staff room with mugs of coffee and talk quietly to each other about it.
Aspen works at the desk right in front of me. He has been here for about three years, and he is one of the only other vaguely interesting people in the office. Aspen thinks Mel is cute too; he says I should ask her out.
It is Thursday, and this summer in Leipzig has been surprisingly remarkable. It is the hottest one I have experienced so far, I think. Mel struts into the office with a bright smile, wearing a pencil skirt, and a white blouse that she looks far too warm in. I try not to make it obvious that I am staring, but Aspen reaches toward me and begins clicking his fingers near my face.
“Hey, buddy, you want to focus today. Kasper will be in the office today and I overheard Aleksander and Valentina discussing how he’s unhappy with you,” Aspen says in a harsh whisper.
I nervously glance at the booths beside me to check if anyone heard. Luckily, they’ve all either got thick, padded, company headphones on or are glued to their screens. We are all like mindless zombies here, apart from the receptionist who appears to always have her head screwed on. I frown at Aspen and ask him, “Unhappy about what?”
Aspen puckers his lips and exhales a loud sigh. “I heard you’re behind on two week’s articles,” he says, and he pulls his mouth downwards dramatically. “How is that possible? We’re always at the office and we’re not short on stories,” he continues.
I shrug and avert my eye contact, “The articles I am assigned are hard to research for,” I say calmly.
Aspen smirks at me and moves his desk chair forward. “Come on man, ask her out already,” he says.
“It’s not about her,” I try to protest, though I know in some ways, it is true. Mel has somehow overtaken my mind.
Aspen raises his brows and his forehead wrinkles. “I’ve got a job offer,” Aspen announces in a change of conversation, “they’re offering to pay much more than here,” he tells me.
“Have they got any other positions available?” I ask him.
Aspen grins at me, “I think you’d take a lower pay cheque if it means you can stare at Mel all day,” he teases me.
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say, trying to hide my embarrassment, “she just sits straight ahead of me,” I add.
“So does your computer,” Aspen replies with a loud chuckle.
Mel hears him, looks up from her computer, and watches me. I quickly look back at my computer.
“I’m trying to work Aspen,” I growl to him quietly.
“I’ll leave you to work,” I hear Aspen say, followed by the sound of him typing on his keyboard.
Just as I am about to dive back into the tiring world of German inflation, I am interrupted by a feminine voice.
“Roald?” She speaks. I recognize her voice instantly, and my stomach flutters. I slowly turn to the right and tilt my head upward. My eyes latch onto her necklace, she always wears it. It is a strange-looking black octopus. I begin to nod, and she sends out a nervous grin.
“Roald, I wondered if you could come over to my desk. I just received an email from Kasper's assistant, I wanted to talk you through it,” Mel tells me. Aspen forces out a quiet snicker. I scan Mel’s face and thankfully she doesn’t seem that impressed by Aspen. I nod again.
“Okay, I’ll join you,” I agree. I rise from my desk chair, and Mel leads me to her computer, about three rows and a foot away from mine. When we get there, she sits behind her desk.
“Okay,” she begins, looking up at me with a big smile and glittering eyes. I feel myself growing tense. She leans an elbow on her desk and cups her chin with her palm. Her nose is small and pointy, her mouth is plump and pouty. She speaks again, snapping me out of my gawking.
“So, Kasper's assistant, Valentina emailed me. She says Kasper’s in the office today and because she’s on holiday, she wants me to book a room for you and Kasper to have a discussion,” she informs me as she stares blankly at me.
“Can’t we use his office?” I answer dumbly. She begins to smile, then it falls from her face.
“Come on, Roald. What’s this about?” She asks in a worried tone. I catch my breath. Is she worried because of my job, or has she taken on the new role of Kasper’s assistant for the day? I clear my throat.
“I was speaking with Aspen just a moment ago, I’m behind on my article,” I answer.
“Wow, Roald, how can a journalist be late to deliver the news? Most people like their newspapers fresh, not months old and expiring,” she teases, her laughter bubbling forth, her gaze hypnotic.
When the fairy sound stops leaving her mouth, I begin speaking. “I know, I know Mel.” I stretch my back so that I stand straighter. I am not too sure how to respond further.
“Well, I thought I would warn you about it beforehand, so you have some time to think up your excuse,” she replies cheekily. “I think he’ll be here in half an hour,” she says with a wink. My stomach flutters again. She removes her hand from her face and tilts her head so that it rests close to her shoulder. “Do you think you’ll lose your job?” She asks quietly and then straightens herself up. I shrug at her.
“I don’t know, it’s unlike me to be late, but this is an esteemed publication at the end of the day,” I tell her.
“Can’t you finish it quickly?” She asks.
“It’s not always that easy,” I answer.
“I know,” she replies sadly. She gazes to the side, completely zoned out. I wonder what is going through her mind.
“I’d better leave you to get back to work then, think up something good. It would be a shame for you to get fired when I’ve only met you not long ago,” she says. She gives me a friendly smile and I nod my head at her.
“Thanks, Mel,” I reply. I take a few steps towards my desk, but her comment has sparked confidence within me. I turn back around. “Mel,” I say nervously and chuckle. “Are you free after work? Maybe we can go out for a drink somewhere and discuss the outcome.”
Mel’s smile widens, revealing a dimple. “I’m not busy, I think that would be nice… but only the good news, right? Let’s hope,” she agrees pleasantly.
I nod my head, “right,” I respond and continue walking towards my desk.
When I get back, I find that Aspen is no longer there. I glance around the office as I pull my chair under the desk. I stare at my computer screen and begin buffing my article. It is almost complete but then I must begin this week, and I am already two days behind the deadline. I try not to yawn as I welcome a productive mood.
Around half an hour later, the breeze wafts in through the office, and I see Kasper waltzing in with his phone pressed hard against his ear. He walks straight through the office and doesn’t take one look at me. I feel my shoulders relaxing.
After a few minutes, I hear his voice calling me in a sharp tone.
“Roald, get over here!” He calls.
I wipe the palms of my hands nervously down onto my trousers.
Come on Roald, you can do this. You only need the confidence! I silently urge myself in encouragement.
I walk towards Kasper, who has already retreated inside his office. When I reach the door, it is wide open and Kasper sits behind his desk, muddling with some paperwork.
“Take a seat,” he says without seeming to have noticed me.
I walk towards the chair and take a seat. Kasper stays silent for a moment as he continues to sort out the paperwork that he is holding in his hands. His face is far too stern, it is bordering on a look of pain. Still, he continues to scrunch up his face as his eyes waltz around the room in thought. He drops the pile of papers onto the table with a decent-sounding thud for what it can make.
“Roald,” he growls out, it rolls around the room and fills the spaces where there is not much. “What the hell are you doing in my office!” he continues, his face is enraged, and his eyes are wide and bloodshot.
The confidence I have developed makes me smile. I sit forwards in my seat and the words begin preparing themselves for me.
“As you may or may not know, Kasper, last week's article has already been sent to the editing team, and this week's article will be ready today with little overtime,” I explain.
“Overtime?” Kasper repeats. He sits back in his chair and shakes his head.
“You know, Roald. I wonder to myself sometimes why I pay out of my pocket for an editing team when I hire writers. Your articles had better be good, Roald, and I will be asking the editing team to tell me just how much they needed to edit. Now get back to work. You’ve only got your job still because finding your replacement will only take the news longer to get out.” Kasper finishes. He clears his throat and returns to the papers in front of him.
I get up from my seat in silence and return to my desk. I have just survived an encounter with an undercover German mobster, it feels. I smile calmly as I begin to finish the article for this week.
After a good amount of time writing, my mind wanders back to Mel. My eyes start to flicker towards her desk, where she is sitting, typing on her computer. Her necklace flashes towards me as the sun radiates onto her.
I wonder what she will say when I tell her I still have my job when we go for coffee after work.
After two hours of writing and research, I finalize my article and email it to the editing team. I sit back in my chair and relax. Some people have already left their desks to go home for the day but there are still quite a few people sitting in the office. My eyes dart to Mel’s position. Except, her chair is empty.
“Roald!” I hear her voice beside me.
“Mel,” I respond calmly.
“I came to see how long you’ll be here. Work finished twenty minutes ago for me and I’m not sure I can wait any longer,” she says.
“I just finished actually,” I tell her.
“Are you still up for that coffee?” She asks me, almost nervously. I smile and look at her curiously. It was me who invited her.
“Yes, should we go now?” I speak.
“That sounds nice,” she says, and she turns around and waits with her back towards me as I get my backpack and coat.
“Come on,” I say, placing my hand lightly on the top of her back to lead her out of the office.
As the automatic doors open, the summer breeze brushes against the skin of my face and neck. I unbutton the top button of my shirt and look towards Mel.
“Do you know a good place to go for coffee around here?” I ask her.
“I’ll take you to the one I go to sometimes on lunch break,” she answers.
I follow her to the café. When we get there, Mel turns around and looks at me with doe eyes.
“I know I agreed to a coffee, but thinking about the time, I don’t think I can have one. I’m so sensitive to the caffeine.” She says with a smile.
“Oh, are you tired? Would you rather go home?” I ask her uncertainly. She shakes her head.
“I live in the flat above this café. I wondered if you wanted to come upstairs. I baked some cookies yesterday, and I can make a great hot chocolate.” She suggests.
I stare at her with shock and then nod my head. “Sure,” I accept.
She leads me to her front door. When it is open, we are at the bottom of a curving carpeted staircase.
“Should I take my shoes off?” I ask.
“No worries,” she says, “It’s all hardwood flooring after this.” She tells me.
At the top of the stairs, her flat begins. It is an indulging showcase. Her flat is nothing like how I would expect Mel to be at all. At first, I thought that the place must have already come furnished with all the landlord's old things but when I look closer, I can see Mel.
There are photos of her with friends on the cabinet and there is a bottle of her red nail polish on the coffee table. Though, the curtain set looks like it was made in the sixties and her sofa looks like it should have been thrown out for a new one years ago. Certainly, older than her.
“Take a seat, Roald,” she says sweetly, “I’ll go and make those chocolates.”
She vanishes into the kitchen, and I sit down on the old sofa. There are magazines about knitting on the table beside her nail polish. I didn’t expect Mel to be the kind of woman who knitted. I notice a few balls of coloured yarn on the bottom shelf of her coffee table. I have never met a woman as fascinating as Mel.
Mel returns with a tray holding two cups of hot chocolate and a small plate of peanut cookies.
She sits beside me on the sofa. My palms are growing sweaty.
“Well Roald, tell me all about what Kasper said,” she jumps straight into the conversation.
“I still have my job, but he’s not impressed, to say the least,” I tell her.
“That Kasper, he seems to have a mind of steel, but I can tell he’s all bark. He has a soft heart,” she replies.
“Kasper’s not too bad if you’re not on the wrong end of his stick, that’s true,” I agree.
“Well, Roald, I’m glad that you still have your job, but I’m not sure that I’ll be in mine for much longer,” she says.
“How come? You gave me a long speech about not wanting me to leave not so long ago,” I answer.
“Can I tell you a secret, Roald?” She asks me gently.
“Yes, Mel, you can,” I say.
Mel giggles nervously, she avoids my wonderous gaze as she stares at the floor. She is almost blushing.
“I’m not who you think I am,” she announces.
I look at her with more curiosity.
“What do you think of my necklace, Roald, do you like it?” she questions.
I stare harder at the octopus charm around her neck. It is a jewellery piece that I have never seen anyone else wearing before. The octopus is black and shimmering, the glittering speckles give it a cloudy effect. As the iridescent flecks move within the necklace, it seems as though there is a living lifeform within the accessory.
“It’s beautiful Mel, it’s unique,” I answer.
Mel doesn’t respond for a moment until she finally looks me in the eyes again.
“It was my grandmas, before she passed away, she gave me this. That was many years ago now,” she tells me, and she chuckles. She stares off in a distant corner of the room and her eyes twinkle.
“I had never known that she owned this necklace, she had never worn it, and she had never shown it to me until the day she gave it to me. She made me promise that I wouldn’t try it on until after she passed away, she told me that when I did, I would learn a big secret that she had kept,” she explains to me.
I watch Mel carefully as she begins playing with the chain around her neck.
“I am growing tired of this life,” Mel admits to me quietly. Her eyes turn into leaking wells.
“What’s wrong, Mel?” I ask her when her weeping becomes audible from her throat.
She begins to stare at me intensely.
“I wanted to be loved,” she tells me. “Though, I could never find it and as the years went on, I realized that I never would.”
Mel twists the necklace around so that the charm hides behind her neck. She begins fumbling with the clasp so that she can take it off. When it has disconnected, she holds the chain carefully, so that it does not fall from her neck.
“Roald, when I met you, I felt something that I have never felt before. You made me feel loved. I know that my good looks had something to do with it, but you looked through me to my soul. I could tell you truly wanted to know me, am I right?” She asks me.
I nod my head at her. “Yes, Mel. I want to know you,” I agree.
“Turn around,” she speaks softly, “don’t look at me,” she says.
I move my head so that Mel is out of my view.
“Now look at me,” I hear her say.
When I turn around, my body turns cold. My face distorts from the shock. Mel is no longer sitting in front of me. In her place, sits an old, fragile woman. She wheezes as she breathes and her chest rattles. She has lots of white hair, it is thin, but it hangs down to her breasts. As I look closer, I see she is wearing the same blouse and pencil skirt that Mel was wearing before.
I gasp as I realize, I am still looking at Mel.
She smiles sadly at me.
“This necklace gave me my youth back,” she tells me with a whimper.
“When I put it on, I remember how I felt alive. I walk with a spring in my step, and I feel like I have the strength to live forever. But, when I take it off, I am just a human, and I age the same way I would without it.” She explains.
“Oh, Roald. My bones are weak and every minute that passes in this body cuts down into seconds. I have lived and I am ready to accept the terms of living. It is only nature that we must let go one day and begin decaying.” She tells me sadly.
“Mel…” I say, feeling entirely speechless.
“Will you hold me Roald? Even when I look like this?” She asks me.
Through my disbelief, I nod my head to accept.
She opens her arms out to me.
I move closer to her on the sofa and hold her in my arms.
Mel lays her head on my chest, and we stay there. I begin stroking her aging hair and she smiles.
Minutes go by, with her arms clinging to my waist.
As the time between us runs out, I can no longer hear Mel breathing.
I take the necklace from her lap and place it on her coffee table.
I lay her down on the sofa and leave her flat.
The world outside is still moving.
