1、 Yesterday, after my little niece returned from kindergarten, she brought a basin of water and insisted on washing my brother's feet. My brother excitedly shouted at my dad, "It's the same little cotton jacket, my little cotton jacket warms my heart, and your little cotton jacket makes you angry." After saying that, my brother started filming a video and posting it on Peng's social circle. "My heart warming little cotton jacket," my dad's mouth twitched for a moment, and then he took out his phone and looked at me. "Nie, I also want to post a 'my thoughtful little cotton jacket'. Can you see, ah, okay, okay, I'll go fetch the water right away!
2、 A white pill gradually dissolved into the wine in the foam of the beer. The man in red had a wicked smile on his mouth and looked at the suspicious woman in the opposite with his head tilted, as if he was wondering if she would be the prey in his hand.
3、 Today, while walking on the street, a beggar said to me, "Okay, okay, give me some money, even 50 cents is fine!" I shouted irritably to him, "I don't rest 31 days a month, I'm on duty 24 hours a day, and I only earn more than 2000 yuan in 44640 minutes a month. I only earn 8 cents per minute. You took 15 seconds to say 13 words and asked me for 1 yuan, and it took me 13 minutes to earn it back. How dare you ask me for money
4、 Over the weekend, I made plans to gather at my house with two good friends, Xiaolan and Tiantian. We discussed and decided that each person would make a dish. I am responsible for making soup, stir frying vegetables, and Xiaolan made beer duck. After a flurry of sounds of pots and pans, our dishes were almost ready, and Sweetie was ready to make her dish. I saw her take out two cucumbers, rinse them with clean water, and place them on the cutting board. She probably wanted to make cold cucumber salad. I handed her a kitchen knife, but she waved her hand and said, 'No need.'. Then she directly smashed the cucumber on the cutting board with her fist. We watched her operation from the side and were stunned!
5、 On the weekend when I came home, my dad saw me and said, "Where is your mom?" My mom saw me and said, "What's your dad doing?" This is my core purpose at home?!
6、 His mother, Lao Wang next door, broke his leg because the house was too slippery, and now he is still living in the hospital; Teacher Zhang upstairs also suffered a concussion due to the slippery roof. If the house is too slippery, you can buy a carpet to lay it on. It won't cost much!
7、 I bought a new piece of clothing and want to show it to my best friend! After reading it, my best friend didn't like it in various ways, looked down upon it... color, style, length, price, in any case, it didn't look good and didn't go as well as what she bought. After hearing our argument, my husband silently said, 'That's just her perspective. She looks good even with a torn curtain, thanks to her good figure!' My best friend and I immediately stopped arguing! Well, it's rare to hear someone speak so fluently in all these years. I've put on the clothes that I almost threw away so beautifully again!
8、 One day, my daughter learned how to bake cakes from her teacher. 35 minutes later, the teacher said to her, "Go take a look at the cake. If the knife is inserted and then pulled out, and the knife is clean, it means the cake is ripe." The daughter took 10 minutes to come back. "Why have you been there for so long?" the teacher asked. I inserted the knife and then pulled it out, the knife was extremely clean. So I inserted those dirty knives again! "The daughter replied.
9、 The teacher had a class in the afternoon and noticed that Xiaoliang's seat was empty. So he asked, "Does anyone know where Xiaoliang went?" Li Pengpeng raised his hand and said, "Teacher, he sprained his foot. After asking me to ask for leave from you, he ran home on his own!" Teacher: "
10、 After returning home from work, the wife found her husband feeling down and covered in scars! My wife asked, 'Husband, what's wrong? Who's so bold to hit you!' My husband remained silent.. My wife urgently asked, "What's going on?" My husband said with grievance, "I was on the bus when my colleague called me!" My wife was puzzled and asked, "Did I hit you on the phone?" My husband angrily said, "Isn't it because I used a knockoff phone with a louder sound? It scared the people around me, and they all beat me up together
11、 On the bus, an old man fell asleep, leaning on the back of a young man behind him. The young man is willing to be a "human flesh cushion" and maintain a standing posture for 20 minutes until the old man gets off the car. The college student said in an interview, "At that time, I didn't think too much, I just thought there was a girl behind me
12、 Wife: "I like feminism. I think a modern woman should uphold her legal rights, have the right to know about men's whereabouts, supervise men's property, and even keep a pet dog when she's bored
13、 My three-year-old son just went to kindergarten. One day, when the kindergarten came back, he was a little angry. The father went up to comfort him and said, "Son, what's wrong? Did the kindergarten children bully you?" The son crossed his waist and said angrily, "I don't like this teacher. He's so fierce and doesn't pat me when he sleeps.
14、 There is a man from Lu who is good at weaving grass shoes, and his wife is good at weaving white silk. He wants to move to the state of Yue. A friend said to him, "If you go to Yue, you will definitely be poor." "Why?" "Grass shoes are used to wear when walking, but Yue people are accustomed to walking barefoot; white silk is used to make hats, but Yue people are accustomed to disheveled hair. With your strengths, go to places where you are not needed. Is it possible to avoid poverty
15、 My son has been addicted to playing and his grades have not kept up, so I have decided to punish him once. So, I took a drum and asked him to knock on the wall to reflect. I was reading in my room, and if the drum stopped, it would prove that he had sneaked away again. After a while, the drum paused for a moment, and then I heard the knocking sound quieter than before. I walked out of the room to see what tricks he was playing. Outside, I saw the big rooster at home eating rice on the drum, and the person had already slipped away.
