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We have been searching all along

I have been hoping and waiting again

But I don't know

Long road, distant dreams, and many hopes

I no longer want to lament about "time passing by like water" or "fleeting years" anymore. My hazy eyes and drowsiness make the entire winter vacation even more boring. I have once again fallen into depravity, unwilling to pick up my pen and write any words. I don't know if it's because I'm used to creating online under Chuangwang and the banyan tree, or because I have already placed all my emotional attachment on QQ space and personal homepage logs. Just a moment of confusion, searching for bits and pieces about life during the boring holiday!

If I had to share my gains during the winter vacation now, I admit I would have been stunned. Looking back now from the end of the holiday, I feel a mix of sadness and pain, hating my dull life and my lack of achievement.

Abandoning everything related to learning in a carefree manner, accustomed to the colorful online world. Start chatting online, creating space, browsing information, writing texts

I always thought winter vacation was a good time to relax, so I aimlessly relaxed and fell into depravity. During that period, I even changed my Q name repeatedly. I was impatient with myself for changing my username so frequently, especially when my friends misunderstood the meaning of my username. However, it is not difficult to see my fondness for "not wanting to end" from the beginning to the end, and I still adhered to the starting point with a trace of emotion. I cannot explain why, but because there are many things that I do not want to end, I feel inexplicable helpless about the past.

I was originally looking forward to returning to school to register, because once I registered, I thought I was getting closer and closer to school. I no longer want to live such a boring holiday life. No matter how long the holiday is, I still don't know how to make use of it, which is why I am so enthusiastic about the campus life that makes me both happy and worried.

On the seventh day of junior high school, I received my tuition from my mother a long time ago, but I never went to school. I didn't want to say the reason for my hesitation. I had thought about being silent or deceiving, but in the end, I didn't do that. I just told a lie, a lie that made me feel ridiculous and funny.

I am filled with helplessness and pain when my friend dropped out of school. I cannot explain the reason, but I feel very reluctant. I once tried my best to persuade them, but the result only showed that I was powerless. I want to learn to be carefree, after all, I know that parting is also a compulsory course in life, and there will always be separation when people get along with each other. So I started to remain silent, hoping that my friends can walk well all the way!

Entering the second half of my sophomore year, I was already destined to become a prospective high school student in the darkness. Unable to shake off the helplessness that exam oriented education brings to students, but unable to resist the harm that exam oriented education inflicts on them. I can only shout in vain: 'I hate the shortcomings of exam oriented education.' Even with such dissatisfaction, I still lost my direction here because I am also afraid, afraid of the ruins after not being able to get into college.

For high school seniors, they are actually very afraid. In the days of creating on Chuangwang and under the banyan tree, I saw many sad articles about "high school seniors", such as "Black High School Senior", "Struggling on the Edge of Life and Death", "Abandoning Youth in High School Senior"... Such prominent titles really make me afraid. But at least I am still clear headed. I am aware that our dreams have already been locked in by everyone and can only be realized on the basis of reading. So many of us come to school to read those so-called books just because we all have our own dreams. Under the persistent dream, we all have to give in and calmly believe that high school seniors will make us grow up and become mature and stable.

You and I are both ordinary people, and dreams are a very realistic topic for us all. We cannot all be without dreams. If life has no goals, wouldn't we be like a wingless bird that can never fly high or far?

I always hear people around me sighing about the past, the past was so beautiful and worth reminiscing about, so my heart begins to ripple. Heartfelt for the past that has passed, heartbroken for the lost past.

I don't want to deny how much interest and memories those past experiences have added to the past. All of this is understandable. The past has always been so beautiful, which is why we are trapped in the quagmire of memory and cannot extricate ourselves, even leading to a period of decadence and corruption.

In fact, the past is just a helpless experience. People are so attached to the past because they have put in a lot of effort, which gradually forms a dependence. So we don't have to forget, we just need to do our best to fade away in the inevitable passage of time, release the shackles that have always bound us, wander in the river of memories of the past, let ourselves transcend, and seize the present!

About Now

Now, we are all growing up, slowly becoming mature and stable. For me, growth is a joy, it requires struggle and effort.

I often sit in the political class lost in thought, watching classmates of all kinds repeat the same life every day, not studying or playing, just constantly feeling lost. The current sentiment is not profound enough to make people feel lost and disoriented, right! But why do I see so many classmates drowsy every day, as if they have nothing to do?

I once used the arrogance and rebellion of youth as an excuse to comfort myself from repeatedly falling into depravity, trying to find many, many excuses to persuade myself to forgive myself and not regret it. I have been persuading myself and comforting myself., But I know those are just excuses I use to evade myself.

Now may not necessarily determine the future direction or development. But now it must be a bridge between the past and the future! Without the past, there is no present; Not now. There is no future either.

I admit that the future is very distant for me. Perhaps one day in the future, I will fulfill my dream and become a lawyer, writer, journalist, and host; Perhaps I will also succumb to the cruel reality of oppression and become a waiter or nanny. For the future, I really don't dare to have too many high hopes. Even if I have the courage, it seems like I don't have the capital, and I don't want to. I'm afraid that the more perfect it is, the more difficult it will be to achieve, while the more unwilling it is, the more manageable it will be.

However, I also do not deny that I have a lot of great hope for the future, filled with anticipation and sincerely waiting. It's hard to say what the future world will be like, but I believe that the glory of the future is built on the foundation of the present - the future cannot be achieved