In the evening, my nephew told me his troubles on WeChat.
On the third day of the first lunar month, my nephew drove his parents to his girlfriend's house five hundred miles away. The purpose of this trip was very clear, which was to meet his parents, negotiate their lifelong affairs, and prepare to get married this year.
Unexpectedly, the woman's family put forward many conditions. In addition to a 100,000 yuan gift, the nephew's new house and the car he bought from me for a loan of 50,000 yuan last year must be transferred to the woman. I found it incredible when I heard this, but my nephew said that the girl’s parents said that her daughter must be protected if she marries far away.
In fact, the other party's meaning is very clear. He is afraid that if there is a marital change after marriage, the woman will not suffer a loss if she has these hardware in hand.
Think about it, people nowadays don't take marriage seriously, there are too many marriages and divorces, and if they don't cherish each other, the marriage will be full of scars, and it will collapse if you are not careful. The girl’s parents really thought too far.
The nephew said: I gave all these to her, what if she divorces me after getting married?
After hearing this, I choked again. I don't know how to answer him.
If everyone is so wary of each other, wouldn't this marriage be a dead end? It's like a rope that has been tied into a dead knot and both sides are still holding on to one end. How can this be resolved?
The nephew said that both parents were angry, so the matter was temporarily cooled down.
I'm worried about my nephew. He is a migrant worker, a second-generation farmer, he is an urban ant himself, and he is twenty-seven or seventy-eight years old. He has no advantages in work or age. What should he do?
Many things suddenly occurred to me. I heard my parents say that when they got married, that is, in the late 1960s, material conditions were very scarce. As long as a man and a woman fell in love with you, life-long events would be pretty much the same. Our parents raised our generation in hard times and never thought about divorce. There were almost no divorces in that generation—none in my mind.
And when people of my generation got married, in the mid-1990s, I felt that both parties did not put forward any harsh conditions on the stability of the marriage, and more than 20 years passed in this way.
However, the current situation really makes me don’t know what to say. I know that in some places now, both men and women must have their property notarized before getting married. They can clearly distinguish which is yours and which is mine. Once there is a problem in the marriage, there will be no disputes about the ownership of things before marriage. Although this can nip problems in the bud, it actually lays the foundation for marital instability. On the one hand, this approach is actually a hint to both men and women that your marriage may be disintegrated, and this hint is often a crow's mouth, and it will hit the target as soon as it is said. On the other hand, because the pre-marital property has been notarized, it means that it is very easy for you to break up the partnership and there will be no sequelae. This will strengthen the idea that men and women will leave if they can't get along.
Can love that is wary of each other still be happy? The times are developing, and information technology has made the end of the world within easy reach. Why are people's hands that care for their emotions so weak? No matter how much wealth is vested before marriage, how can it heal the resentment and sadness after the dissolution of marriage?
"If you want to have the same person, we will never be apart until we grow old together" "We will become husband and wife, and we will have no doubt about our love for each other". Returning to tradition in marriage may not be a bad thing.