If you made some of the choices yourself from the beginning, then you must know how to bear the consequences.
Even though you may still be weak and ignorant at that time, the reality will not change because of your willfulness and naivety. All effects have their causes when they are initiated.
Recalling the choices I made, at that moment, in that state of mind, I always thought that I was right. Even if it seemed ridiculous and stupid to outsiders, I could confidently hold on to: Others laugh at me because I am crazy. At the top, I laugh at the idea that others cannot see through.