My family visited me a couple of times, many of my childhood friends didn't even message me. Then I began to feel a transformation in my soul; I felt it was fading, and I cried alone. I was angry and couldn't control myself or focus on my daily routine. Reflecting on it, I can remember how lonely I felt. The times when having my baby inside me wasn't enough to make me feel accompanied. Now I understand that this was due to my new stage that I didn't fully understand or accept, going from being an autonomous girl to being responsible for another life. If you ask me the origin, it's because as a child, I dreamed that when starting my family, I would be surrounded by my tribe, the people who were very close to me would be involved in the process, asking how I am, how I feel, how the baby is, but obviously, it wasn't like that. And I will tell you that it is indispensable because there are many things you have no idea if they are normal or not in pregnancy. I felt lost; I read a lot about how to be a good mom and how to successfully face pregnancy and childbirth preparation. None of that worked because I would break down at any moment. I would look around, see my house, and there was no one, not even feeling confident enough to communicate with someone to say that I wasn't doing well. I just stayed lying on the bed, curling up and crying. I remember hugging my belly and apologizing to my baby for feeling lonely when he was with me. Loneliness is tough, and it was consuming me. My emotional stability was at its lowest; my mind and body were languishing. It was like cancer, where I had good moments, I remember laughing, I remember my partner bringing me gifts, cooking for me, pampering me, and me, not responding to the improvement but sinking into the horrible disease.
