Chapter 3
13 Years Later
The girl with the crimson eyes sat at a low table on a tatami mat, making an elegant stroke with the calligraphy brush on a sheet of rice paper. She swept aside the sleeve of her red kimono jacket as she finished the symbol with more brushy strokes. The morning sunlight filtered through the window to reveal a home of wood and bamboo furnishings.
Her mother kept an eye on her from the room’s center, where an iron tea pot hung over a fire. The smell of green tea filled the room to accompany the already pleasant, natural aroma, though the tranquility was shattered by the clang of hammer on steel from outside.
“Good,” Haruka said. “But the stroke order was incorrect. Watch.”
Sayaka handed the brush to her mother, who in a few deft strokes completed the symbol. Sayaka bowed her head.
“Arigatou…”
“Now write it five more times, remembering the stroke order.”
Though she was thankful with her words, inside Sayaka fumed. She had written that symbol five times already using the stroke order that felt most natural to her, but apparently there was a “right way” to do it which made little sense to her. Sayaka dipped the brush again and set it to the page, gliding the brush in the order Haruka showed her, while she returned to heating the tea.
Sayaka’s strokes wavered, frustrated by the clamor of her step-father outside. He had constructed his own smithy, and spent his days banging out steel for the making of swords. Yet none were so fine as the blade which rested on Kazumaru’s altar.
Sayaka completed the symbol while struggling to concentrate over the noise, but it looked lopsided and sure to disappoint her mother. When Haruka returned to check her work, she shook her head.
“Again, Saya-chan.”
“But why, okaasan? What does it matter what order I write the strokes in?”
Haruka set the tea on the table, plumes of steam rising from the clay pot.
“Because you can write faster with the correct stroke order. Watch.”
Again Haruka took the brush and completed the symbol in half the time. “See?”
Realization dawned on Sayaka. “Oh, I see…”
“Now, try again.”
“I can’t concentrate over Hayato-san’s noise…”
“Then focus.”
“Hai ~~”
When Sayaka took the brush, she mimicked her mother’s writing and completed the symbol just as fast. A moment of elation welled within her. “Oh!”
“Good, now five more times.”
Sayaka frowned. “Mother, how did you learn to write like this?” It was too clean and controlled. Someone in their social station shouldn’t have such skill. While most people in Tsukimoto were taught to read and write, there was writing, and then there was calligraphy, and Haruka’s symbols were at the level of artistry.
A look of sorrowful remembrance crossed her face. “Your father taught me.” She glanced at his altar. “Which reminds me, we’ll need some new flowers. Won’t you go to the shop later, Saya-chan?”
She nodded. Anything to get her out of having to meMoraze symbols. It was two per day writing them ten times each, then reviewing the two from the day before, and when Sayaka is twenty, her mother told her, she will have learned the nearly 12,000 symbols of their language.
Sayaka set the brush down.
“Can I practice the shirakachi flute now? I don’t see why I have to meMoraze all these symbols. Don’t I already know a couple thousand?”
Haruka sent her a stern look. “A couple thousand might be acceptable for a common woman, but not one training for the court of the daimyou. They will want to see that you are skilled in poetry and other literature, and that requires studying the more obscure symbols.”
“But I don’t want us to move to the capital, I’m perfectly happy here. Besides, our family is registered with the government to live in this village, right? We couldn’t leave easily.”
“We can leave if doing so would benefit the shogunate. It would be a great honor for our family if you were selected for the court of Genten. You might even be selected for marriage to the daimyou’s son.”
Sayaka flinched, her muscles stiffening. “Why, mother? I don’t want that…”
Haruka’s expression softened. “I understand, but it’s only because I want a better life for you. I don’t want you to be impoverished as I was. Besides, your step-father wants to make swords for the daimyou’s army. It would be a position of great honor if he were accepted, and we would need to move to the capital anyway.”
“But the war… we’d be much closer to the war. Don’t we live here to be in peace?”
“We can only be in peace for so long, Saya-chan. The forest spirits have been agitated by the soldiers’ movements. Crops have been failing lately as well. Our harvest each year is less than the year before. People are beginning to starve. The price of rice is going up. These are dark times and it’s hard to trust anyone.”
“It seems the Seishin are angry. Can’t we appease them?”
“The only way to stop their anger is for the war to end. Until then, we are much safer in the capital.” Haruka’s expression turned dark. “I want to get away from this forest as soon as possible. The last thing we need is for a woman of the wood to show up.”
“A woman of the wood?”
“Mora-no-onna is a spirit that can appear human yet turn into a hideous monster once you have invited her into your house. If you don’t let her live in your house with you, she’ll kill you.”
Sayaka’s mouth dropped and she covered her mouth, her stomach turning. “That’s just an old story, that kind of spirit isn’t real!”
“Yet the stories are quite common, so it makes you wonder, doesn’t it?”
Sayaka’s throat tightened. “I think the forest spirits will protect this village…”
“No, Saya-chan… we are moving to the capital as soon as we have saved enough money. This village has too many bad meMoraes for me…” Haruka looked away with the same dark expression. “Please honor your family in this request.”
Sayaka stood and backed away from the table, her fists clenched, her fingernails digging into her palms. She felt a heat flush her face. “I have no desire for the intrigues of court, mother… I want to be a Maiden at the shrine so I can help the sick and wounded.” Haruka gave her a cold stare of disbelief. “I want to learn to actually expel the evil spirits from this land, not run from them like you and Hayato-san!”
Haruka stamped her foot. “Enough, Saya-chan! Watch your tone with your mother! And don’t look at me with those eyes of yours!”
A twinge of guilt shot through Sayaka. “It’s not my fault I have these eyes! The Seishin gave them to me! All the more reason for me to work at the shrine and commune with them!”
“You applied to be a priestess last year and weren’t accepted. It isn’t meant for you!”
“Yes it is, because there I can at least meet a friend! I’m not allowed to have friends over the house because of your fears of Mora-no-onna or some nonsense. There’s only one thing I wish for in this world… a friend that will always be by my side! Someone I can really trust! You at least have Hayato, but I have no one!”
Sayaka turned from her mother and went into her room past a sliding screen door. Her bedroll lay on a straw mat, which she curled enough to reveal the wooden floorboards underneath. She lifted a narrow board to reveal a space containing a coin pouch. It clinked as she slipped it into her kimono. Sayaka returned to the living room.
“I’m going to the shrine.”
Haruka sighed. “Don’t be disappointed when you’re not accepted.”
“This year I will be accepted! I’m going and coming back!”
Sayaka charged for the doorway, brushing past Hayato in the doorway. The middle-aged man was drenched in sweat beneath his blacksmith’s apron, and wore a soiled headband. He seized her by the arm.
“Where you are you going?”
Sayaka shook herself free, but Hayato’s broad frame blocked her escape. Haruka put her face in her hand and shook her head.
“The shrine,” Sayaka said, meeting Hayato’s gaze.
“Why?”
“Every day she checks the board to see if her name is written under the list of new initiates,” Haruka said.
“What will she do once we leave for the capital?” Hayato asked as though Sayaka wasn’t there. “You need to get control of her, Haru.”
“Yes, husband,” Haruka said with her head bowed.
Sayaka straightened her kimono as she dashed out of the house, scooping her sandals off the floor. She ran through the rock garden, hopping on one leg, then the other as she slipped on the shoes.
“Come back soon!” Haruka called from inside.
The shrine has to accept me, it just has to. Then we’ll never leave, Sayaka thought.
Chapter 4
Once in the streets, Sayaka paused to catch her breath and to straighten the hem of her jacket, which stopped at her mid-thigh. The air was fresh and sweet, carrying with it the umami scent of traditional cuisine as the vendors began their day in the marketplace. Trees in bloom for New Year’s loosed their pink and white petals across the road as Sayaka passed through their shadows.
A line of lazy fishermen sat along bridges with their lines in the river, chewing on their toothpicks. As the old saying went, ‘even when not eating, a fishermen always uses his toothpick.’ One of them waved to Sayaka as she hustled past, kicking up the dust of the road.
“Off to the shrine again?”
“Yeah! I’ll make it this time!” she replied. The Hazumaki Shrine loomed like a silent guardian over the village, perched atop a forested hill, its sloped roofs cutting the sky like a sickle.
“Do your best!”
“Hai ~~!”
A squad of children wearing Kushi masks intercepted Sayaka, painted in red and black with white tusks protruding from a toothy maw.
“Not so fast,” one of them said. “You have to play with us, remember?” The children stood with hands on their hips in defiance of Sayaka’s progress.
“Ahhhh, I forgot… but I’m going to the shrine now!”
“You’re always going to the shrine,” the boy said. “You never have time for us anymore, even though you said you promised.”
Sayaka glanced at the shrine and then to the children. “When I get back I’ll play with you, okay?”
Without waiting for a response Sayaka jogged a few paces ahead of them until a gnawing guilt brought her to a halt. She felt the children’s eyes on her back. They stood with arms to their sides and shoulders slumped. Sayaka stooped and plucked some pebbles from the ground, and pitched them to the boys.
“Away, demons, away!” she cried, laughing as the children shrieked and giggled, running away from Sayaka’s assault. “Out, demons, out!”
As the stones bounced off their kimono the children stopped. “Hey, wait a minute, these aren’t soy beans!” one of them said. “You can’t drive us out!”
“Ehh!? You can only be driven away by soy beans!?”
“That’s right!”
The children chased Sayaka in circles up and down the street, shrieking in playful glee as they in turn threw pebbles at her.
“Okay, okay, you got me!” Sayaka said in between bouts of laughter. “Can I go to the shrine, now?”
“Alright, you can go,” a boy said. “But next time bring soy beans!”
Sayaka waved them goodbye and headed up the street. Houses along the road were peaceful places constructed of wood, paper, and bamboo, the walls painted an off-white to bring out their natural beauty.
By mid-morning, the streets were crowded with the usual bustle of merchants and tradesmen. Everyone had a task, and free time was a rare commodity.
Sayaka fished into her kimono for her pouch, checking to make sure she had enough money for a good luck charm. She would need all the help she could get to be selected as a Maiden, but someone knocked into her hard as he hurried about his business, scattering the pouch and its contents to the ground.
Sayaka cursed as the coins went everywhere, being trampled and kicked around by the throng of humanity. “No, no, no, no…” Sayaka muttered as she scrambled to the collect the coins. As she crawled on her hands and knees to gather each one, more people bumped and stumbled into her, scolding her being in the way.
“Gomen nasai! Gomen nasai!” she said.
“Douzo,” came a kind girlish voice. A delicate hand held the rest of Sayaka’s coins and offered them to her. When had she gathered them?
“Ahh, arigatou gozaimasu!”
Sayaka bowed and grabbed the coins, shoving them into her pouch. She climbed to her feet and was in such a hurry to get through the crowd she couldn’t see to whom the hand belonged. There was only the back of slender figure wearing red trousers and a white kimono jacket, her head concealed by a pink parasol as she blended into the crowd. Sayaka hoped she could find that person again and thank her.
She stashed the coin pouch into her jacket and made her way out the other side of the crowd, taking a deep breath now the commotion was over. She ascended the sloping streets that approached the base of the hill the shrine was built on.
Birds chirped, children laughed, the fishmongers shouted the prices of their most recent catches. Aishida was a restful village disconnected from the horrors of a civil war that seemed so far away. Still, Sayaka couldn’t shake the eerie chill that rippled along her skin as she neared the forested outskirts of the village.
The trees stretched up into the sky, their branches swaying in the wind. Through the trees, white ropes fluttering with red streamers had been tied around the trunks of some of the trees, winding their way up the bark and into the branches. It seemed almost unnatural, the hairs of her neck standing on end. Were the ropes trying to protect the trees, or keep something inside the trees from being released?
She tried to ignore it and continued walking, but the ropes seemed to follow her. Every time she looked, she found the same white ropes tied around the trunks of more trees. Her heart raced and her breathing quickened with each step she took.
Sayaka pressed on, her pulse beating faster with each passing minute. Her palms sweat. From the depths of the forest came a distant, haunting hum, yet the steps leading to the shrine lay just before her. Towering trees arched over them, creating a wall of gloom that seemed untoward in the village’s festive atmosphere.
She couldn’t turn back now, no matter what she felt. If the noise was indeed some evil spirit, the knowledge the shrine would impart to her would be of use in expelling such spirits.
As she ascended the stairs, she came to a landing beneath a massive Mora gate, with its red-painted wooden posts and cross beams, the top of which bowed gently above the two straight lower ones. No matter how many times Sayaka visited the shrine, the exhilarating rush of standing before this threshold never left her, as in the Reikara religion, these gateways symbolized the separation of the physical from the spiritual worlds. Beyond the gate, though the shrine was still in the physical world, Sayaka could feel the spiritual purity of the shrine’s grounds like fresh morning dew.
Sayaka bowed before the gate, and stepped around it, as humans were forbidden from walking through it, as it was reserved for the passage of the gods. Sayaka resumed her climb up the hundreds of steps to another Mora gate, feeling the presence of the Seishin around her. The wind shook the trees, whistling through their branches.
At length she reached the top of the steps, pausing to catch her breath. Even in the spring, the humidity of her island country caused streams of sweat to run off her chin as her clothing stuck to her body. While she normally took baths at night, she often had to take one after coming home soaked in sweat.
Another Mora gate loomed over her, which stood at the perimeter of the shrine itself. Stepping around this gate, Sayaka made her way across the public grounds of the shrine, past several of the worshipers who had come to purify themselves at a fountain in front of the shrine.
Nearby, there was a wooden bulletin board where the names of those who had been accepted would be posted. To her dismay, none were listed. Sayaka let out a heavy sigh and wiped her face. All this way for nothing… but there here was always tomorrow.
Sayaka felt eyes on her back.
“What are you checking the board for? You think your name will be listed?” came a mocking tone from behind. It was a girl a couple years older than her standing with arms crossed and looking at the board, dressed in a dark green kimono jacket with white cloud motifs, dark brown hair falling to her shoulders, held back by a red headband.
The girl looked familiar, but Sayaka couldn’t place her.
“Excuse me?” Sayaka asked, knitting her brows together.
“Oh, nothing,” the girl replied.
“Do I know I you from somewhere…?”
“My father owns the inn in this town. I’m Kawada Ayase.”
She stood with a wide stance, looking down on the shorter Sayaka.
“Yuno Sayaka. Nice to meet you,” she said with a bow. “Please be nice to me.” Ayase merely narrowed her eyes, which set Sayaka on edge. “Did you also… apply to be a Maiden here?”
“I did, and I’m sure to be accepted. My father knows the priests here.”
Sayaka was taken aback. No, ‘nice to meet you’ in turn? No ‘please be nice to me?’
“I see. Well, good luck to you…”
“Wait, did you apply here, too?”
Sayaka tilted her head. That should have been obvious from context. Maybe this girl couldn’t read the air very well?
“Yes… and last year.”
“Well, too bad, they only accept a limited number of people, and they probably don’t need another Maiden, so…”
Sayaka felt a lance of pain through her core. Why was she being so rude?
“Why are you interested in working here, then? If you want to be rich, this isn’t the place to be. A Shrine Maiden is a higher, spiritual calling.”
“And you think I have no spiritual talents?” She took a step forward, forcing Sayaka back a step.
Sayaka narrowed her gaze. She was done with this bitch, and sick of people she couldn’t trust. “Your family name is written with the symbols for River and Rice Field. I think you’d be better suited for farm work by the river…”
“Why you…”
Ayase balled her fists and pierced Sayaka with eyes of hate. She felt a shock of discomfort as she hurried away from the girl. What was her problem? Did she think because her family has wealth she would be automatically accepted? That would be corrupt! Hopefully the priests weren’t bribed. Could they be bribed? It wouldn’t surprised me, seeing as this world is so evil, Sayaka thought.
A fortune booth stood several shaku from the bulletin board. “Now I can buy that good luck charm. This trip wasn’t wasted after all…”
“Hey, I’m not done with you yet. Get back here,” Ayase said to her back. Sayaka returned a rueful stare, the color draining from Ayase’s sallow complexion as her eyes widened. “The hell…? Your eyes… you’re a freak!”
“I’m done with you,” Sayaka said through clenched teeth, and walked away.
Chapter 5
The booth was decorated with the same white ropes Sayaka saw on the trees, along with charms, amulets and talismans. Many of the strips of paper held prayers ranging from wanting a good harvest to marital success, to passing exams at school. Sayaka had written her own prayer and tied it to the booth, asking to be accepted as a Maiden. There were so many, Sayaka wondered if the other applicants had their own prayers.
Then she saw it, a prayer written by Ayase: “Please help me be accepted to this shrine.” Though it bothered her, Sayaka tried to pay it no mind as she perused the selection of charms, each bearing symbols such as Peace, Happiness, and Fertility. Sayaka frowned at that last one. Why would anyone want to bring children into a world as dark as this?
The attendant within the shadows of the booth shuffled to the counter, dressed in a priestess robe. She was an older woman with a pleasant face. “Hello, may I help you?”
Sayaka bowed her head. “Hello, do you have a Victory charm?”
She swept her gaze over her collection and shook her head. “Ah, sorry, we’re sold out of those. May I recommend one of these?”
Sayaka’s heart sank. “I don’t know… I’m not sure these others are the right ones…”
The woman smiled and tilted her head. “What troubles you, child?”
Sayaka hung her head. Something pricked at her chest. Could she trust this woman? “I… I wish to work at this shrine as a Maiden… I was hoping to buy a Victory charm and pray to the Seishin to ensure I was selected…”
“Mmmm… why do you wish to work here, child?”
“Well, I believe I have a higher spiritual calling. I also don’t want to stay at home all day with my mother and step-father… I need to get out of the house. My life feels so boring and predictable. I do odd jobs around the village to earn money, but I’m hoping working here will lead to something more permanent with the chance to earn some real money...”
The woman nodded. “I see… well I will tell you most of the staff here are volunteers. We don’t get paid for this. Only the high priest and his closest confidants take any kind of salary. We do this out of the goodness of our hearts. That is why I would recommend the Goodness charm.” She handed Sayaka the ceramic talisman with the symbol emblazoned upon it.
Sayaka frowned. “Why Goodness?”
“It is a reminder of the inherent goodness within the world and within people and to not allow that goodness to be spoiled by the encroach of evil.”
Sayaka shot her a look of incredulity. “You think this world is inherently good? What about all the war? The suffering? The pain and death? This world is evil to its core!”
The old woman simply smiled and shook her head. “No, child. Evil comes from another world and was never meant to inhabit this one, and thus must be expelled.”
Sayaka stared at the charm in her hands, her heart hardened in disbelief against the woman’s words. Still, she slapped a couple coins on the counter. “I’ll take it. I need all the help I can get. Hopefully the Seishin will hear my prayers as well.”
The woman pocketed the coins and gestured to the prayer board. “Would you like to write a prayer?”
“No, no, I already have one one there… I will pray in the outer shrine,” Sayaka said. She bowed. “Arigatou gozaimashita.”
Sayaka tied the charm to the sash around her waist and headed deeper into the shrine’s grounds. The scent of sakaki trees permeated the air as the shrine was surrounded by them. Her steps quickened. She wrung her hands as she approached the purification fountain located beneath a gabled roof. A thick rope hung nearby with a bell attached to it.
In the fountain was a ladle, which Sayaka used to scoop the water and drip it over her hands. She dripped another ladle-full into a cupped hand and swished her mouth with it. After spitting the water onto the ground, she returned the ladle to the fountain.
She took a deep breath and shook the rope, clanging the bell. She bowed her head in prayer, offering her desires to the Seishin. When she was finished she clapped her hands with finality.
The bell rang again, startling Sayaka to find Ayase next to her, offering similar prayers. What was she trying to do, compete for the gods’ attentions? Not wanting to bother her, Sayaka turned to leave, her shoulders slumped. She had done all she could to curry the gods’ favor; all she could do was wait for the priests’ announcement.
“You know, maybe being a Maiden would suit you after all,” Ayase said from behind. Sayaka tilted her head and looked back over her shoulder.
“Excuse me?”
“Being a Maiden might purify the shame over your house…” Sayaka’s hands clenched as she fought back her anger. Noting her response, Ayase said in a mocking tone, “Oh, did I touch a nerve?”
Sayaka’s knuckles cracked in her balled fists. Why couldn’t this girl be polite? She must be evil and rotten to the core, Sayaka thought. If people were so good, as the fortune-seller believed, they wouldn’t treat each other this way.
“What did you say?” Sayaka asked in an accusatory tone.
“Oh, don’t play dumb. The whole village knows your mother was a prostitute for several years before she married that bladesmith. My father told me. After your father was killed, your family had no real income. It must have been hard.”
Sayaka clenched her jaw, a flush of anger racing up her neck. The public perception of her family had always been of disapproval, and Haruka had been struggling to manage it for years. It didn’t matter that she remarried a promising young bladesmith, the social stigma would always remain.
“How dare you disgrace my family… my father was more honorable than your zako-drinking parents! He was a samurai in Lord Genten’s army, not some tavern keeper! Does your father come home drunk every night and beat you and your mother? Maybe the beatings will purify your ugliness!”
Ayase’s eyes shot blades of their own into Sayaka’s as her lips drew a hard line. Though Sayaka wanted to rip her throat out, they dared not cause a fight within the purity of the shrine. Sayaka turned on her heel and returned to the prayer board, located Ayase’s prayer and tore it away. She ripped it to shreds and offered it to the wind.
Without a care nor a glimpse back at Ayase’s reaction, Sayaka left the shrine towards home, the bangs of her jet black hair falling over her eyes, a smile of dark satisfaction curling her lips.
