This is a retelling of two Mesopotamian myths of the Terribly Important (and, for the last few millennia at least, obscenely under-rated) Goddess Ishtar/ Inanna, Queen of Heaven. Eldest daughter of the moon god Sin/ Nanna, Inanna was both Morning Star and Evening Star. Born in what is now southern Iraq circa 4000 BCE, sublime, venerable, Holy Inanna, goddess of war and sex, is often—to this day—to be found in the sacred tavern. So those who like a drink and a cwtch, All Hail Inanna!!
Huluppu Tree
Before Inanna reached drinking (or shagging) age, not long after the Great Inundation, she found an uprooted Huluppu (willow) tree drifting downstream toward her sublime garden. She took it home and planted it, thinking it would grow alongside with her, and when she was in her full power she’d have it made into a throne and bed, such as her divine parents had. Better, even. Alas, the annoying Anzu bird made a nest there and hatched its even more annoying chicks in the branches. The terrifying succubus Lilith made herself at home in a knot in the trunk, and the knowing, charming and uncharmable Serpent took up residence in the roots. She rolled her eyes up to the Great Above: No, she refused to ask them. She needed to find another way. She cast her eyes about and remembered that semi-divine arriviste and gang leader Gilgamesh – he was always flexing his muscles, trying to impress gods and ladies alike. Perfect. He didn’t hesitate and saw the whole horrible crowd off in short order. Impressive. Reader, she shagged him. Then she had him sort out a bit of DIY on his way out, namely the works on the sacred furniture. Then she liberated herself from any further entanglement (a snub he never really forgave or forgot).
Round about this time her brother Utu, the sun god, started trying to set her up with a husband. A keen gardener herself, she fancied the farmer. He’d keep her in bread and beer, what’s not to like? But no, no: Utu was all-in for the shepherd. Milk, meat: Dumuzi was the man, Utu (eventually) convinced her. Also, a third divine, go figure. So, reader, she married him.
All was well for a while, and a good time was had by both on the willow marriage bed. He was a wild bull. But the throne was hers alone, and after a while the human got a bit above himself, got ideas. Got on her nerves. She started to hear voices, speaking to her directly from her Dark Side. She went there. She planned his death, risking her own sacred life to free herself from the hot (but cooling) upstart.
Inanna goes Down
To the Great Below Holy Inanna opened her ear. The great darkness spoke to her immortal soul. No being, divine or otherwise, had ever gone there and come back. She was ambitious. The word chutzpah was created for her.
She briefed her beloved sukkal, her first minister Ninshubur:
‘Babe, I’m going there. I’m gonna fly in the face of death, and if you want to see me again, do these things, exactly as I describe; do not deviate one iota.’
Ninshubur listened closely. She was utterly devoted, and an introvert, so had no issue with following detail and procedure to the letter.
Inanna put the shugarra, the seven-horned crown on,
A stunning dress, the lapis necklace, fixed her hair.
She put the let-him-come-let-him-come eye makeup on,
and other things that inspire awe and give you goose bumps all over.
She strapped on her breastplate.
She took up her rod and line.
Then she presented herself at the gates of the underworld.
Her sister, her shadow-self, a long and dark shadow in fact cast by her own brilliance, Ereshkigal, Queen of the Underworld sent out her own trusty vizir to greet Inanna, also fully briefed.
At each of the seven gates he stripped Inanna of one of her brilliant accoutrements. She entered Ereshkigal’s presence butt-naked, powerless, and was—scornfully—slain, and hung on a meat-hook.
Three days later Ninshubur activated the protocol.
Ninshubur wept and wailed, wore her ugliest dress and left her hair a greasy matted mess.
Ninshubur went to the gods yet apparently none of them gave a fig that the Queen of Heaven was dead.
I think they thought she’d bought and paid for it.
Except for wise father Enki, who loved the lass, could see the repercussions, and got involved.
From the dirt under his fingernail Enki made two sacred gender-neutral beings:
To the galatur priest/ess he gave the water of life, to the kurgarra warrior he gave the food of life.
He instructed them to turn themselves into flies, get down there and proactively, loudly offer empathy, to go to the sad, suffering and lonely Queen of the Netherworld, mirroring her pain.
And when she offered them a reward for the solace, to turn it all down and ask only for the corpse.
This they did, and up sprang the irrepressible Inanna, revived by the food and water of life.
But would the judges of the underworld, the Annuna, leave it at that? No, no, no!
They sent her back up with a heavy escort of gala demons, of various sizes, to ensure she supplied a suitable replacement.
The first person they met was the devasted sukkal, face down in the dirt at the gate, wailing like her own throat was slit.
Will you give us your wise counsellor, peerless warrior and trusted confidante Ninshubur as your replacement in hell?
Not on your nelly! She was proper upset I died and did everything I said, Shub saved my life!
– Not Happening!!
What about your sons, Shara or Lulal?
No, no, not my darling boys, they love me and I them – No Way!
Well then, what about Dumuzi your husband – he’s sat there on your throne decked out like a peacock, with a pretty one on his knee – he hasn’t shed a tear!
She locked her deadly glare upon him, and in a thrice told the demons Take him, and do your worst!
So, they set upon him with little axes, and he wailed, quite a lot.
He beseeched Utu, his brother-in-law, shining sun and god of justice.
Utu had mercy and turned him into a snake, and he slithered away, hiding in the grass.
But the gala demons found him, so Utu turned him into a gazelle, and he sprang off at speed.
But the gala demons caught him and sent him down, down forever to gnaw bones and drink putrid ditchwater.
Dumuzi’s sister Geshtinanna was inconsolable; all she did was cry, sleep and dream.
Inanna herself started to miss her vigorous lover after a while.
She felt a tinge of remorse.
A holy fly came and buzzed at the ear of the goddess: What will you give me if I tell you where he is?
- Permanent residency in pubs and taverns!
she came back with, quick as quicksilver.
Inanna took the tear stained Geshtinanna by the hand and when they found him, all gnarly and sorrowful, the girl begged to take her brother’s place half the year.
And so it was, and so
ever it shall be,
as long as the seasons keep turning.
So, dear friends, when the sap rises and the buds push up, you know the wild bull is back, and when the long, hot summer ends, and the night and mind go long, to rest and to dream, good Geshtinanna is with us again. We bemoan his going, but without Geshti’s self-sacrifice and love for her brother, there’d be no coming and going, just eternal bare winter. So let us love the downs as well as
the ups.
