Originally posted on 2023-09-07
I've had a bunch of things put up for sale on my local online selling platform for the past year. K-pop albums, merch, audio gear, and books are the things I decided on letting go. Other than those things, I don't really own much. I've reduced the amount of clothes I have which I will further reduce soon. I've had two pairs of shoes fail this year. Still, I want to reduce the amount of things I own. In a world where we all want more and more, the words "own" and "have" have made me a little uncomfortable.
Audio gear was the most difficult to let go. They are the most expensive things I own, and I previously believed that I needed these things for my work in music and audio. I've since adapted my workflow to be satisfied with a mostly digital setup. I might even be convinced to completely move over to digital, letting go of the rest of the gear. Books were very easy to let go since migrating all of my reading to a Kindle. Letting go of K-pop albums and merch was also very easy as I have lost the desire to collect and own things. I don't even have a CD drive in my computer and laptop to play the CDs of those albums.
Collecting K-pop albums and merch was fun. I remember being excited about ordering and receiving all of those things, but I never looked at them again after receiving them. They all just took space and they were aging in dust. A few days ago I set the prices for these things to 0 because no one was buying them even at a price of $10 each, and I just wanted to get rid of them. One person took them all. I was happy to part with these things while also giving happiness to a fan. I made a stranger happy. I was able to let go. Win-win.
My rocky relationship with this girl just ended, and K-pop was something we enjoyed and shared together. It's a good time to let these things go which always remind me of her anyway, not that I want to forget her. I felt that it would be better to make some other person happy with those things instead of making myself miserable from the constant reminder whenever I see them on my shelves. This made me realize that there really are memories associated with all the things I buy or acquire, no matter how mundane. I remember the time when I bought a certain pair of shoes and how I felt for her back then. I remember the time when I bought a Red Velvet album and how excited I was to share in the enjoyment of it with her. I remember the time when I bought my first women's leather bag for myself and how I learned to appreciate the designs and art of them through her influence.
Eventually, I did realize that I have no use for these things. It felt liberating to understand this. I realized I don't need the latest and greatest of everything. I barely even use my phone now. I don't have many friends to constantly talk to. I'm not on any social media platforms except for Instagram. It's basically a mapping and banking device to me now. As I look for more things to let go, I learned that I really don't need much. Maybe those things can make other people happy instead of gathering dust in my storage, potentially depriving others of happiness. Maybe I'll run out of things to sell, give away, and let go that I won't have any reminders and memories left. I do not find happiness in things anymore. I do find happiness in peace, calm, food, and good human connections, that is to say, I still miss this woman.